My First Mother's Day

Well don't I feel a little spoiled!

And a little silly... because I was kinda worried he would forget to get me something. 

I knew he knew it was Mother's Day and that I expected something. But I figured he'd pick up some flowers either on his way home from work this morning or on his way to work tonight, and I thought he might space it I guess. So when he got home empty handed this morning I was a little bummed, I can't lie. But I figured he'll do it tonight. 

So I was sitting on the couch straightening my hair, and he came out of the kitchen with a little silver box from Zales! Very surprised!! (I should say that I knew he had spent money on the credit card, but figured that was for my birthday.) I opened it to find these beautiful diamond earrings!

For one, they're very much my style lately! I used to wear long dangly earrings, but lately I've liked them smaller, more simple.. like these! Of course I never buy myself diamond earrings. My earrings generally come from Wal Mart for about $5. In fact, I believe these are my first ever diamond earrings!

Now.. this is also kind of a big deal to me because he did it all on his own. He's bought me jewelry two other times. The first was my engagement ring. I didn't pick it out, but I was definitely expecting a proposal so therefore expecting a diamond. The second time was Valentine's Day 2008. I found a necklace on the Zales website that I wanted and told him to order it. Not very romantic and he surely didn't have to put any thought into it. But this?! I was NOT expecting jewelry for Mother's Day. Next year, maybe. Not this year. Flowers. Not diamonds. So I obviously never hinted that I might want something, never pointed out these earrings or anything like them. I mean I don't think I ever mentioned wanting jewelry.. if I did I wasn't serious. He did this all on his own, which is what makes it so special. 

Best. Husband. Ever!!

Love him. 

Bunches. 

Anyway. Today is my first Mother's Day as a Mom. He may still be in the womb but it totally counts. 

I've been waiting for this day for years. That may sound silly. But if you're reading this you probably know that pregnancy didn't come easily to us. We've been trying off and on since we got married in June 2009. Every Mother's Day since then has hurt a little. The first wasn't bad. And I'll never forget that my MIL send me a card that year. She knew we were trying and wanted me to know she was happy I'd be the mother of some of her grandchildren. Each year it got harder though and I got more bitter. Recently I read an old blog post and I'm glad I did. It reminded me where I was, how I felt. It also reminded me to be sensitive today. I feel a little guilty for posting my earrings to Facebook. But I should still be able to enjoy things without feeling guilty. I think that my struggling-for-a-baby friends know that that kind of thing is not meant to hurt them. I acknowledged "past, present, future and fur" moms in my "Happy Mother's Day" post on FB. Then I realized that "past" sounds awful. Even if you've lost a child, you're still a Mom. I hope no one catches that or gets offended by it. I hope people know me well enough to know that I wouldn't mean to say anything hurtful. 

I feel like so far I haven't been too in-your-face with my pregnancy. I don't have a weekly update auto-posted from whatever website to my FB. Those things used to drive me crazy. Like we really don't need to know every week what fruit or vegetable your baby can be compared to. (Either people don't do that anymore, or I blocked that app, because I haven't seen it in a while!) I don't complain about any of the discomforts of pregnancy. I don't post every pregnancy-related thought that pops into my head. I post positive things, and ultrasound pictures and stuff, but I really do make an effort to not over-do it, and I hope my TTC girls don't get hurt or saddened by anything I post. Because I've been there. And I haven't forgotten how hard it was for me to see some of the things that my pregnant friends, and my mommy friends, would post. 

Anyway I forgot where I was going with this. I do wish every Mom out there a Happy Mother's Day. I wish for my friends who are TTC to find peace in the day and keep believing that you'll be called "Mommy" someday soon, no matter what path you have to take to get there. 

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