Sunday, January 27, 2013

January 27, 2013

     Well what a slacker I've been!! Seriously meant to update FOREVER ago! Well, in my defense, I've been a little preoccupied, because........
....but chances are you knew that already! I had every intention of updating the blog shortly after announcing on Facebook, right around Christmas, but that just didn't happen! My bad. 

     Anyway, a little back story because I wasn't super chatty about this round of TTC. At least I don't think I was. I got off the pill in January. Nothing. So I got back on Clomid for June-Sept. Nothing! I decided to skip the Clomid for October because they made me pretty moody this time and I didn't want to be weird while on vacation. So we had a GREAT time in Oregon with my Mom and Keith. A great time. Like, the best. But more on that later. Toward the end of October, I was expecting my period, thinking I COULD be pregnant, but we didn't put a lot of effort into trying that month, not sure if/when I ovulated, so I really didn't have my hopes up too much. I took a couple tests in mid-October, one at the clinic when I had a bladder infection and it was negative. She put me on the baby safe antibiotics anyway. I had a few other signs.. I remember my boobs being sore at the gym, had some hot flashes. Well on the 23rd I got my first for sure positive test. I had tested the days before with the cheap tests, and I never even told Clint. They were very faintly positive, but I wasn't getting my hopes up till I finally used a good test and there it was!! Two beautiful pink lines! I tested 3 days in a row, and it only got darker. It was really real!! 

     In the beginning I was more scared than excited. You can read my TMP journal for more details about the first few months. Its mostly symptom updates because I realized that I didn't document that very well the first time I was pregnant, and I was really wanting to compare. So I tried to keep up with that kind of thing so that I have comparison for next time. Really I wanted to me sure that this pregnancy didn't feel like the first one. I really wanted it to be opposite, if that makes sense. My major symptom has been lack of energy! Especially the first trimester. I just wanted to sleep all the time. I was napping at the end of my lunch breaks and again after work (for an hour or two) and still going to bed by 10. I lost what little desire I had to cook, and I'm not into big slabs of meat anymore. Like pork chops, steak, burgers. Bleh!! I can do jerky, sausage or ground beef in marina sauce over pasta, lunch meat (yes, I heat it), anything little like that. But big pieces just grosses me out right now... unless its fried. For some reason fried chicken or steak is still yummy to me. Poor Clint has been such a trooper with the lack of cooking! Lately I've been more apt to cook, but I still don't want anything like the aforementioned things, which is the bulk of what we used to eat. So I hate to admit that we've started doing hamburger helper here and there, and frozen lasagna. If it was just me, I would probably have pasta, pizza or boneless wings every night for dinner. Or flautas from the deli. I swear I can live on those right now. Mmmmmmm!! So my energy is coming back over the last month or so, and that's good. BTW, I'm about 17 weeks now. 

     I am starting to show. I guess I wasn't expecting my body to change so fast. About a month ago I realized I needed maternity pants. Actually probably more like 3 weeks. I don't know why I thought it would take longer. But I've got a few pairs of maternity pants now, and already had enough shirts that will work for a while. Maternity clothes at this point are a pain in the ass. They like to ride down and I feel like I need a belt all the time. But I'm getting used to it. Maternity pants don't hold in your gut the way jeans do. Regular jeans totally hide that low gut I've got and maternity jeans really only enhance it. It took a few days of maternity jeans and kinda letting it all hang out to accept that that's how it'll be for a while. I worked so hard to lose weight and I've been sucking my tummy in since middle school. Not being able to do that, and having to let it show and try to be proud of it is a whole new experience. It bothers me that it bothers me, ya know? Especially the first time I wore maternity jeans. I was so self conscious. I caught myself walking around Wal Mart with my hand over my tummy just so people would know I was pregnant. I feel like I look like I'm farther than I am. But I'm getting used to it, and it bothers me much less. I look pregnant. I'm happy to be pregnant and I need to embrace it! So what if I look farther than I am?! 

     Speaking of my body, I've gained about 13 lbs already. That worries me, but Dr. O doesn't seem concerned. I haven't specifically asked him about it, but whenever I see him he says "weight's normal, urine's normal, etc" so I guess its ok. It obviously doesn't worry me enough because I eat terribly. Well I already mentioned the hamburger helper. Also cookies and well pastas and a severe lack of veggies. Sigh. I did so good for so long and now that I'm eating for two, I'm eating crap, and that's not good!! But I can't find the motivation to change! I just know I'm gonna fail the GD test. :/ With the lack of energy, I obviously haven't been to the gym. I kept going for a couple weeks after I found out I was pregnant, then realized that time would be better spent sleeping. And I was right. My body needed the rest. I need to start going again, just to walk at least and get some kind of exercise. I really don't want to gain all 80 lbs back while pregnant. :/ 

     What else? Oh.. work! I get to go back to the golf course very soon. Probably the second weekend of Feb! Yay!!! Housekeeping is killing my back! I've been helping with the hotel and guest houses the last month or so, and making beds is just awful! SO happy to be getting back to my cozy little desk job till baby comes!! 

     Oh yeah so our trip to Oregon was great, as I said. Clint and Keith hit it off so well. They went hunting and fishing and just had a great time together.. they have a lot in common! Mom and I shopped and spent a day with Grandma and relaxed and that was nice too! Zoey had a good time with their dogs, even if little Willie is a little territorial! My Z put him in his place! LOL She's so tough! We spent a couple nights at the casino.. no big wins to speak of, but it was fun to get out and do that kind of thing. Clint doesn't normally go for that sort of thing, but he had a good time too! 

     Speaking of Clint, its his birthday, and I've got birthday brownies to make, so I better stop rambling now. I'll try to update more, but you've heard that before...