Things I Learned From The Voice

No no... not my inner voice or the voice of God or the voices in my head (although i do learn a lot from them)! I'm talking about season one of NBC's The Voice! So here is what it taught me:

1. Cee Lo Green is always either underdressed or severely overdressed... there is no happy medium with him. Also, he must have a deal with Adidas. If he doesn't, he will soon.

2. Carson Daly is still relevant, thought not quite as awesome as he was in his TRL days. But I'm happy to be seeing him again.

3. Blake Shelton is hot, and sweet and just plain awesomesauce!

4. American Idol has nothing to worry about.

5. Christina Aguilera is so annoying. I hate to admit this because I have always been a fan. But if she wasn't worried about her image before, she should be now.

And who says TV isn't educational?

PS- I will be watching Season 2 even though Season 1 didn't completely rock my socks.

25lbs Down

I am so excited to say that I hit the 25 lb mark today!! I actually teared up a little on the scale when I realized that I hit that milestone. I am a very proud 250 lbs now!! And still going, of course!

That's really all I wanted to say. My husband, who doesn't seem nearly as impressed as I want him to be, asked what we're doing to celebrate (since I mentioned a 25 lb reward the other day) and so I guess I'll make cookies. He definitely wants some. I think he misses the wife that used to bake on a very regular basis. I feel like I should start buying cookies and stuff again so that he has snacks like that. But I know I'll get into them more than I should. He likes my skinny cow ice creams. Maybe I'll just buy more of those, or some 100 calorie packs. I've thought about getting some 100 calorie pack cookies for me anyway. A while back Walgreens was selling Skinny Cow candy bars, and I got one and it was delicious! I should see if I can find those as a special treat from time to time.

Oh well I guess I can talk about something non-diet related. My brother is no longer engaged. I didn't get any details, but it was definitely his doing. He is just never satisfied. I don't want him to settle or be unhappily married, but I so badly want him to settle down and be married and maybe hav more kids. I hate to think that he'll be a bachelor forever, but I wouldn't be surprised if that's what happens. But I guess as long as he's happy, right? Well at least I hadn't started making their invitations yet. Anyway, I'm bummed. Cuz I really liked Cheristy from what I knew of her. Obviously we'd never met, but I've talked to her on the phone and on Facebook. I just want him to find a good girl and hang onto her! Okay, mini-rant over.

I've been working on getting my scrap room/office cleaned. Almost done. But I realized there's a bunch of mini projects that I want to do, that I'll work on once I'm done with the basic cleaning. I need to organize all my pictures, go through some really old papers of mine, see if its anything I need to keep, burn the rest. I of course also plan to reorganize my scrapbook paper. But I'll start scrapping again at Robin's before I get into all the extra organizing. And when I'm home instead of scrapping, I'll organize. It'll all get done eventually. Not like I'm in a hurry.

I guess that's it from me!


PS- Hey, if you know any dietters, send them to my blog. Maybe I'll be some kind of inspiration. And I need more followers. :)

Guilt

Ugh. I had my first food guilt yesterday. Every other time I've cheated the diet or just had a bad diet day, I haven't felt about it. Either it was a special occasion or I just felt like I deserved it. But yesterday was just uncalled for. I had a scrambled egg and toast for breakfast. That's fine. But then Robin & I went into town for grocery shopping day and since she didn't have the kids, we went to Olive Garden. Between us we had three salads. I had 2 breadsticks and a bowl of the chicken gnocchi soup. It was all delicious. My lunch calorie total was 750 calories. I knew that was a lot more than normal for lunch, but still not too big a deal. I got through the day with cravings everyday I passed cookies or candy (Aunt Flow is here so the cravings are bad). I wanted a cookie so bad. But I did good all day. Then on the way out we were hungry, so we stopped at Sonic for a snack. Sonic doesn't have shit for dietters anymore. I tried to order a small popcorn chicken but apparently they only have one size of that now (althought I'm thinking if I had said "kids size" it may have been a different story). So I got the regular size. I was able to resist getting a chocolate malt... only because I looked up how many calories are in there.. over 500! But the popcorn chicken. I didn't have to eat the whole thing. But it was so good, and so I did. I'm so mad at myself for that! And then I got home and decided to just do leftovers since there was plenty of chili left and I didn't want it to get wasted, and I was tired from the day of shopping. So I did also have a small bowl of chili and cornbread. Such a bad diet day. I went over my calorie goal of 1720 by 279. :( I know that's not terrible, I know it could be worse, and I know that it's only one day. But I was so mad at myself for it last night. Most days I have at least that many calories to spare. I don't know if I've mentioned that I use the app MyFitnessPal to count my calories. Well at the end of everyday it tells you "If every day were like today, you'd weigh xxx in five weeks. It's been saying in the low 240s... 242, 241, obv it varies day to day. Yesterday it said 248. Maybe it's good for me to see what a difference it makes, though. Maybe it'll keep me from having bad days more often. And I guess I should be happy that I could eat like I did yesterday and still lose 5 lbs. Really, that doesn't make sense... Oh well.

So today, I put a little extra time and effort in at the gym, and it felt good!

I guess I should mention that MyFitnessPal counts net calories. So food calories minus gym time = my net calories. Normally I burn at least 200 calories at the gym. Today it was 400something. So, had I gone to the gym yesterday, or could log the exercise I got walking around the stores, my net calories wouldn't be so bad.

See, it was good for me to type this out, I feel a little better now. :)

Alright, that's all.

Time flies!

This month is really going by fast so far!

I can't believe it's already almost payday again. I love payday, but hate grocery shopping day. I need to learn to shop for a month instead of two weeks. Of course that would take a whole paycheck! LOL
So tomorrow I have to make the menu, take inventory, and make the list. Ohhh but I think I'll try out my new grocery shopping app! Always a bright side! :)

Well I can't get very far into a post these days without talking about my body. I am over the 20 pound hump! That was so exciting! Even more exciting is that in just a few pounds, I'll be under 250, which means I won't have to move that bottom thing on the to 250. That's an accomplishment for me. :)

I'm really starting to notice the difference! The other day I realized that I was down to wedding weight. No, I didn't try on my wedding dress. But I did try on (and wear!) a skirt that I was wearing around that time. It fit snug then (like I wasn't buttoning it kinda snug) and it fit the same way now. But the point is it fit, and I had stopped wearing it because it got to wear I couldn't wear it without buttoning it. It has to almost be able to button to get away with wearing it. Am I the only one that uses this trick? Also, last summer my Mother-in-law gave me two identical pairs of shorts. They were a size too small. I could wear them, but not comfortably.. again, I used the no buttoning trick. I could button them, but they were really uncomfortable and didn't look good at all. I've always worn them around the house a lot. Well I've realized that they're much more comfortable when buttoned lately. I still unbutton them a lot, mostly when I'm sitting. But they fit so much better!

But I am so so sick of Lean Cuisines & Healthy Choice meals its not even funny!! I have got to find something new to do for lunch. I just don't even want to eat anymore. It's terrible. Yesterday to spice it up I actually drank 5 hours of diet Pepsi. And with breakfast I've been adding a slice of toast to my egg. It makes it more enjoyable, and I know these things aren't gonna kill my diet, but I do think they can slow my progress. If I keep adding in these little things, eventually I will be back to all my old habits. And I can't have that. So I need to find another way to make my meals more enjoyable. Or just get over it, I guess.

I've added a new snack to my life: Celery and PB. Yep, Kindergarten style. I eat too much fruit and fruit has sugar so I'm trying to find more veggie snacks. Yesterday I didn't love it but today it didn't seem so bad. So I guess it'll work.

I think I want to make a veggie soup sometime. That might be a good lunch. I also wanna add kabobs to our dinner menu. I can load mine up with chicken and veggies, and he can have, like chicken and potatoes I guess. Maybe I'll even try some new veggies that I don't normally love like zuccini.

Nothing to update about my gym trips, still going. Oh except I started going at 11:30 ish instead of 1:30 ish. It leaves my day more open, and it's nice. But the TV at that time of day sucks! I often end up watching Saved By The Bell. LOL

The pool is finally open!! I haven't gone yet, but happy it's open. :)

Well it seems like I had more to say, but I can't remember any of it now. So I'll end this. Later taters! :)

No More Bullshit!

That's something my nephew used to like to say, and as I type it I say it in little kid voice... more like "No Mo Booshit."

But I've decided with my blog, where my weight loss is concerned.. No more bullshit! You may notice that my goal on my ticker has jumped to 75lbs. You may also notice that my ticker has my BMI on there too. It is a little sad that my goal BMI is still in the overweight range. As I get closer, I may decide to shoot for a full 100lbs. But I'll decide on that later. It's been soooo long since I've been there (lik, high school) that I can't even picture what I'd look like. I can't imagine myself being skinny.

I'm also not gonna be beating around the weight bush. I started this journey in mid-April at 175lbs. That's the most I've ever weighed. This morning I weighed in at 257.25lbs. My goal is to weight 200lbs. I believe when I met Clint (5 1/2 years ago) I was about 210. When we got married I was about 250. When I stopped working is when I put on the rest of the weight, pretty much. Once I get down to close to 200 lbs, I may decide that I should get to 175 or 180. I can't imagine weighing any less than 175. And that's at the high end of healthy weight for my height. I can deal with that. But for now I would just love to be at 200 lbs. I think about how I looked back then, and of course at that time I wasn't happy with myself. In fact I have much more self confidence now than I ever did back then! But that's because I've grown comfortable with my body. It wasn't something that I had the drive to change, so I had to accept that that's how I was. I learned to accept my body and be happy with it. And Clint has never made me feel like he wasn't happy with how I looked. He has always encouraged me to lose weight and is supportive of my diet. But he's never made me feel bad about myself like so many husbands do. For that, I'm very lucky!

I have made a decision that has been in the back of my mind for weeks now, but I never wanted to admit to myself that that's the decision I wanted to make. I've decided that I don't want to start trying for a baby again until I'm at least 200lbs. Even if/when Dr. O gives me the go-ahead (which should happen before I get there!). I feel like if I get pregnant before I reach that weight goal, I won't be able to get back on the ball after the baby comes. It will only be harder with a baby in the house. Who is gonna babysit so I can go to the gym every day? Its hard for me to admit that I'm putting myself first. I feel like it's the right thing to do though. As much as I hate to think that it will be so. long. before I get to hold my own baby in my arms, even though I'm tearing up as I type this because it's making it seem more real, I beleve in my heart that it's the right thing to do. We've still got some good baby making years ahead of us. I need to do this now. And the healthier I am, the healthier my pregnancy will be, and the healthier my child will be. And isn't that what matters most?

I can't predict how long it will take for me to reach my 75lb goal. At this rate, I'm losing about 10 a month. So if I keep it up at this rate, maybe by Christmas? But if I plateau (and surely I will eventually), who knows how long it will be. Could be next summer. I hope it's at least by spring. That would be a year from when I started.

I do have a good feeling about it. I feel like once I get down to a healthier weight, it will be easier to convieve, and hopefully less likely to miscarry. If we have to take fertility drugs again, that's fine. Of course my big fear is wasted time. What if I'm being selfish, and "wasting" all this time trying to lose weight. Every month we don't try is one less fertile month. It's one less chance at conception. What if when we start trying again, we don't get pregnant after a few months, and we find out that there's a bigger problem? Something that we could have been working on while I was losing weight? That thought terrifies me. Then we would have to wait even LONGER. We may be getting thinner, but we're not getting any younger! What if we find out that we can't have kids at all and now they won't let us adopt because we are too old? There are so many fears that go along with this. But I have to have faith in my decision. I have to trust that this is the right thing to do. And I do. I just hope I don't get proven wrong.

So enough of that. Last time I posted, I expressed that I was afraid I didn't lose any weight over the long, birthday/holiday/MIL in town weekend. Well, I did! 1.5 lbs! So yay! And today at the gym, I did a 40 minute workout (instead of my normal 25-30) and had a higher resistance, burned 480 calories. Hopefully I can keep up with that kind of workout at least this week to make up for last week a little. :)

Well its time for me to end this super long post. Time to get scrappy! :)