September 5, 2013

Whoopsadaisy! Its been a while since I've updated. I keep saying I'm gonna, but.... well we know how that goes! As I type this I've got the cutest 11 week old boy sleeping on me. He sure is growing fast!!

Any day now I'm gonna start putting him in his 3-6 month clothes. I tried to put a 0-3 onesie on him this morning and was having trouble getting his arm in so I switched to a romper. Many of his onesies are too short too. Even his sleepers are beginning to get retired. One of my favorites, without footies, is high waters now and the ones with footies are alllmost too short. I'm sure he'll be swimming in the next size up at first, but its just about time. There are so many things I'm gonna miss but yay for a new wardrobe again! I wish I got a new wardrobe every 3 months! 

He had his 2 month checkup on August 20th and all went well there. He weighed in at 11lbs 12oz!! I couldn't believe he'd gotten so big! I thought he was about 10, certainly not close to 12! By now I'm sure he's over 12. He feels like he's about 15, lol, but I'm sure he's nowhere near there yet! He was 22 3/4 inches long then and again I feel like he's gotten longer (hence the aforementioned high waters). He got shots and took them well. He seemed to like the oral vaccine (he seems to like everything we've given him orally!) and then he got 3 shots in his legs. Poor little guy! I just sat on the table with him and held his hands and closed my eyes and he only cried a little with the first shot but got worse with each one. Like he was saying "Helloooo am I not crying loud enough? I don't like that! Please stop!" haha But he got over it quickly and was my happy boy again. He did have a fever the next day, but again, got over that quickly. 

While at the pediatricians office I must have picked up some pink eye. That sucked!! But thankfully I managed to not pass it on to Zane. And now I have a cold (thanks to my husband) and am hoping that won't spread to Zane either,  but I think colds spread more easily so I'm not too optimistic. So far he seems fine though!

Sometimes I wonder if Zane is developing as he should be. There are things he's not doing that the internet says he should be, but I'm trying real hard not to think too much about that. He's healthy and is progressing in every area. He'll do it at his own pace. So I'm trying not to compare him to other babies and whatnot. And there are things that he does that are probably ahead of the curve. 

One thing I'm sooooo happy that he's finally doing is SMILING!! Finally my little boy smiles at me. I'd been waiting for sooo long and it was just after his 2 month birthday that he started doing it in a way that we knew was intentional and happy. Now he smiles at me all the time. :D And I *think* he laughed at me yesterday! He always makes sounds that sound like laughing but usually its like when I'm about to feed him and that's no laughing matter so I don't think that kind of thing is real laughing. But yesterday I was making faces and sounds at him and he was smiling and I swear he giggled. Happy mama!!

Also I feel like he is soooooo close to rolling over. But I've been saying that for at least a week now and it hasn't happened yet (unassisted). Maybe soon! When he's on his tummy he's always holding his head and chest up so high (and drooling! lol) and he'll lift his feet. He just can't get that midsection off the ground. Then he'll try to throw his hips to one side or the other but can't quite make the rollover happen. When he's on his back he loves staring at the toys hanging above him and kicking his feet and waving his arms around. When he's in the right mood he's content to do this for a long while, with or without our interaction. He's such a good easy baby. 

He also loves the Boppy. I think its his favorite place to sleep. I always put it at the foot of my recliner and play with him that way and he often falls asleep there. And now when I used to put him in the swing I often put him in the Boppy, on the floor, so I can get up and walk around while he naps. When he wakes me up in the early morning I have been keeping him in bed with me a lot. Mostly because I'm too tired to trust myself sitting upright holding him while he nurses and falls asleep. This is another great time for the Boppy! I have ways to position it (nursing or not) where the open end (his feet) is up against my body so he can't slide out and we sleep well like that. I generally only do this when Clint isn't in bed too because it gets a little crowded!

Zoey still hasn't caused any problems with the baby! She does seem to get a little jealous when he's at the foot of my recliner, because that's always been her spot. But she finds a way to share, even if it means laying on him a bit. lol. Yesterday I think she tried to engage him in play but quickly realized he can't. lol. I don't shy away from playing with Zoey around the baby because if she's gonna jump on him or something I want her to do it while I'm there so I can teach her that its not okay. But so far she's been good! :) 

Oh I can't believe I almost forgot to say that he is sleeping through the night most nights! He's had a few 9 hour stretches and those are great!! He pretty much always sleeps 6-7 hours the first stretch and will go back to sleep for a couple hours after. This morning was an exception. He slept maybe 5 hours then wanted to stay awake for almost 2! But then slept for like 3 and we didn't get out of bed till after 10. lol. 

I'm still going to the gym when I can but its doing no good. I guess I need to change my diet. Boooo! I just went shopping so I've declared that once the junk is gone (and I bought A LOT of junk), its back to the healthier living for us! It won't be easy but seriously something's gotta change! I want to have lost something by Christmas. I don't have clothes right now. Ugh. Need to make some changes!! So wish me luck! I plan to take more pix (even though there's no progress) and measurements soon, I just haven't gotten around to it yet.

Well I think that's it. As always I'll leave you with some pictures of Mr. Handsome Man! 

Back At It!

I'm back at the gym and feeling great about it! It felt so good to be back! 

I went for the first time yesterday and it was a little awkward! It was like I was new at it, I'd forgotten a few things. But when I went today it was like I'd never left! Except of course I did everything at a lower level. I did the elliptical for a half hour but only on level 5, whereas I used to do it on like 13 or 14. Yesterday I only got to upper body weight machines in before Clint needed me to come home, and today I got to do 7 machines! I'm doing everything with less weight than I used to. Not that I really remember how much I used to do, but I'm just starting low and getting a feel for it all again. 

What's gonna suck is that I can't go every day. I can go on Clint's days off for sure. But to go on the days he works I'll either have to take Zane with me, take him to daycare for an hour, or go when Clint's home. When Clint's on nights I might be able to get him to agree to let me go around the time he's supposed to wake up. When he's on days, I could go when he gets home, or after dinner, but after dinner I'll be full and it'll be late and that's just no fun. So we'll see.

I'm not gonna worry about the diet yet. I've been maintaining eating the way I've been eating, so I'm just adding the exercise in for now and we'll see how that goes. I can't count calories anyway since I'm breastfeeding. I have no idea how many more calories I need, and everything I read says it varies woman to woman and baby to baby. 

But I am using my MFP app again to log exercise and weight changes! 

I'm just really excited to be at this again, and really happy that it felt good instead of awful. I feel like I can get back to where I was if I keep at it! 

I am doing something I didn't do last time... sharing my progress pictures! Eeeeek!! I even set up the tripod in our bedroom (kinky, eh?) to get decent pix this time. I regret the crappy mirror cell phone pix from last time!

So here's today's starter pic:

Ick!! I didn't know I looked like that from behind! Well,m that's why I don't wear super tight shirts in public. lol. 

I did do measurements today. Not sure if I did them exactly like I did last time, and really I never knew if I was doing them "right."

But here they are anyway:

Weight: 236.25

"Belly" (I think hips technically): 53.25"

Arm: 13.5"

Thigh: 28"

Bust: 48.5"

Chest: 40.25"

Torso (narrowest part): 44"

Should have measured my butt- maybe next time!

I think that's it! I don't know how often I'll update with weight loss, but I'll try to do it at least a couple times a month, maybe bi-weekly? We'll see!   

August 3, 2013

I don't know why I have such a hard time finding time to blog! I spend the majority of my time sitting here on my couch with my laptop, it seems. But I guess a lot of that time I have a baby keeping me from using both hands, and I'm so not into blogging with one hand! 

Sooo things are still going great!! And I'm not just saying that. When I say I love being a mom and spending my time with him and I don't mind not having my time to myself anymore, I feel like I sound like I'm saying what I'm "supposed" to say. Like if I said anything else people would think I was unappreciative. But that's not it. I really do love being a mom and spending my days with him and I really don't mind not having much me time. Okay, there are times... a lot of times.. when he keeps me from doing things I want to do, like scrapbooking, but he's worth it. 

So here's how my life is lately. Zane and I get out of bed around 9, he eats breakfast and usually takes a short nap afterward. This is when I eat my breakfast, with him in his swing. He usually has an hour or two of awake time before noon. If he's happy (which he usually is), this is a good time for tummy time. Sometimes I fold laundry during tummy time. Its a good time to get it done! Lately he's awake more and seems hungrier, so he takes a lot of cat naps and has a lot of snacks. Sometimes he'll just nurse for a few minutes at a time and that can't count as a meal. Its probably more comfort nursing than anything, but I don't mind. Throughout the day when he sleeps I try to be productive and/or scrapbook. When he's awake I'm nursing him (which is good relaxing computer time for me) and playing with him, trying to make him smile and coo. I'm not perfect, in the mornings I'll just hold him because I'm still sleepy and I don't really play with him much, he just sits in my lap and chills. He usually has a good awake stretch in the evening. This is another good time for tummy time and time with Dad if he's not at work. When he goes to sleep around 11-12 is when its bed time. I make sure he's good and asleep in his arms then I put him in his pack & play (in our room) and I get myself ready for bed. He wakes up usually around 4 to nurse and then the little booger wants to stay awake for a while. The first night of this drove me crazy, then I was prepared for it and now I just let him sit, either on me or in the boppy, and I read or play phone games until he's ready nurse again and go back to sleep. We're usually up a little over an hour. Once I'm sure he's out I put him back down (swaddled, btw. He sleeps swaddled) and we sleep until around 9. He starts making noises before then but nothing serious. Then we do it all over again!

(I should add that I've thought we had a routine a few times and its changed quick. This has been the routine for several days now, lets see how long it sticks!)

Today he's having a very sleepy day!! I've gotten enough house work done, and some scrapping, and I figured it was a good time to blog. He's asleep on me on the boppy but  he's not blocking any hands from typing! Once he wakes up, I'll try to keep him awake for a while, but that usually doesn't work. I'll put him down for tummy time and he falls right asleep. So I put a blanket on him. What else am I gonna do? Not gonna force him to be awake. 

Speaking of Tummy Time, he seems to enjoy it! I'll leave him on his tummy for a while and he looooove staring at himself in the little mirror that came with his "activity gym" as they call it. He's also showing more interest in the toys lately. He'll lift his head and turn it from side to side. He lifts his chest a little, not a ton. He kicks and wiggles his legs around a lot and can scoot a little and turn his body. Sometimes he's more active than others. Sometimes when he's down there he likes to watch the TV. Probably not good to start that habit so young! LOL Then sometimes I'll lay down next to him and talk to him and make faces and sounds at him, trying to get him to mimic me. Sometimes he'll mimic my faces. He's "cooed" a few times now. But.. the little booger still hasn't really smiled for me! I caught one "smile" on camera. It was a time that I was trying to get him to smile, but I'm not sure it was intentional. Another time my MIL, niece and I were laughing at a face or noise he made or something, and I SWEAR it was an intentional smile, but it hasn't happened since. So I don't know. I just want the boy to smile for me! I feel like he's ahead of the curve with physical development but behind with social development. Its kinda frustrating, but I know he'll get there! 

The only problem he has is he is SO gassy. So so sooo gassy! And its uncomfortable for him. Sometimes it seems to be trouble pooing, other times its just gas. But he'll get fussy and make faces and grunty noises and clench his tummy and I know he's not feeling good. I can put my hand on his tummy and feel the gurgling. After a while I'll hear a big fart or poo and that makes me sooooo happy knowing he's had some relief! Usually it takes a couple of these to get it all out, then he's my happy boy again. I do all kinds of things to help him get it out. Trying to burp him in all kinds of positions, Gripe Water, etc. Sometimes nursing seems to help get it out. I don't know if thats just coincidence. When he's fussy like that, I do try to give him a paci, but he usually won't take it. I'm persistent but if he doesn't want it he doesn't want it. 

Speaking of pacis.. Its one of the things that I've surprised myself with. I bought half a dozen pacis and figured he would be a paci baby. But for some reason once he was born I decided I didn't like them. I know there's nothing wrong with them, and I know they can be soothing. I'm not saying anything against people who give their babies pacis. Its just a preference that I didn't know I had till I had a baby! LOL People tell me that you can take away a paci but you can't cut off his thumb (to break the habit), but idk. I'm still not into pacis. But like I said I'll give it to him to try to soothe him when he's not feeling well. And I can't guarantee that I'll never give it to him to keep him quiet while driving or something. We'll see. So far he's fine on car rides. 

I've also surprised myself with how easy it is for me to drop what I'm doing when he wakes up. I thought that would be something that drove me nuts, but if I'm doing housework or scrapping or whatever, and he's ready to eat, I don't mind taking care of him first. I'll get back to my stuff later (maybe). And if he stays awake after nursing I'll still spend time with him, and if its bath day I'll give him a bath. I can't work him around my schedule, its gotta be the other way around, at least for a while. And like a week or two ago when I was getting the house ready for my in laws to visit, him needing me was  a great excuse to take a break, and it probably kept me from over doing it. 

Another new weird thing is like when I'm getting ready to go to town, I can't be stressy about leaving at a certain time. I make my appointments and things later in the day, and I leave when I leave. I used to be so on schedule with things. I wanted to leave at this time, to get there at this time and have lunch before the appt, then go shopping after and be home at a decent hour, etc. But now I try to leave with plenty of time to do things before the appt, but really I leave when I leave. He's gotta be fed right before we go, and I let him get good and full, so however long that takes is how long it takes. I've learned to be more laid back about things. 

Oh! We've mostly moved up to 0-3 size clothes! Bottoms still look a little goofy on him, but sleepers and onesies, he's in 0-3! He doesn't wear bottoms much anyway! :p 

As for me, I'm doing good. I can't remember what I said about my BP in my last post, but I was on two different medications, taking 5 pills a day. At my 4 week post partum appt they dropped one of those pills, and my 6 week appt (just the other day), they dropped a whole medication and now I'm just taking 2 pills a day, and so far my BP is doing great that way. But my OB does want me to start seeing a primary care dr for my BP, because its not fully back to normal by now, and he seems to believe I'm gonna have BP issues for a while. So I'm alright with that, I guess. I just gotta research doctors now, no fun!! He gave me a list but its quite a long one! lol. 

I'm weighing in at 233, and it was the same at my 4 week appt. So I'm maintaining pretty well. I have clearance to start going to the gym again but haven't done it yet. I should do it in the AM when he takes his good late morning nap and I can take him with me if he'll just sleep in his car seat. I'm just afraid he'll wake up.. or maybe that's an excuse. I do plan to go on Clint's next days off so that I can leave Zane at home. I've been learning about pumping and can leave Clint with a bottle just in case, but I'll go while he's sleeping. And the gym is only 2 minutes away so if Zane was just inconsolable without his Mama, I can be home quick! I've left Clint with him for a half hour or so to run to the store, and its been fine. He doesn't wake up, I probably don't really need to stress about leaving milk the first time. I can't imagine I'll stay more than a half hour. Its been over 9 months since I've worked out, I don't think my stamina is quite the same!

Speaking of things not being the same, all I'm gonna say is "ouch." If you've had kids you know what you're allowed to do after 6 weeks and.. ouch. 

I'm gonna end with that, and here are some pictures of my sweet boy!

All about Mr. Zane!

I don't think I've said much about what Zane is like. 

He is a great calm baby! He really only cries when I'm changing him and when he's hungry. Sometimes not even when I'm changing him. 

He's a pretty good sleeper too! Especially at first.. I'd have to wake him up after about 4 hours to feed him because he didn't wake on his own. Now he will usually sleep at least 2 hours at a time. Sometimes up to 4 but I usually wake him up by then. I always set an alarm at night for 3 hours but sometimes I snooze too much... lol. 

He's been sleeping with me on the recliner up until recently. He wasn't sleeping well in his Pack & Play (in our room) and I wasn't getting much sleep because of it so we started sleeping together on the recliner, and he sleeps great like that. But I don't want him to think he has to sleep on me, and I was really beginning to miss my bed, and my husband, so we're transitioning... for right now he's sleeping in his car seat in our room. LOL He sleeps great in it and I know its safe. I feel kinda bad about it, like he doesn't get to sleep in a bed. But this is making sure he can sleep fine without me. Soon I'll try the PNP again and if he still doesn't sleep well in it I'll tweek it a bit. Get a wedge or something. I think he likes being cradled and not upright. So I'll see what we can figure out. I'm a sucky swaddler, plus he likes his hands free. I was in awe of how well the nurses swaddled! So tight and perfect!

I've been typing this over a couple days and now I've noticed that he's starting to figure out his days and nights- YAY! He's been sleeping for longer stretches at night and short, frequent sleeps during the day. Like I'll put him down and 2 hours later.. sometimes less.. he's awake again, needing a new dipe and a snack and he's back out. After like 4 or 5 he's been staying awake for a few hours at a time. He'll get fussy and I'll change and nurse him and he acts like he's asleep but it lasts for like 5 minutes then he's awake and happy again for a while. This will go on till 8 or 9. I love his awake time. I'm glad he sleeps more during the day because I can get things done. Being awake at dinner time makes it harder for me to do dinner.. but it also means Clint has to help cook! haha!  

Diapers! I swear that boy poops with just about every change! Very rarely is there a dipe with only pee. But that's alright, I don't mind changin' his stinky butt! We haven't had to buy diapers yet but we'll have to in a week or so. Once he moves up a size we're good for a while again. Woot!

Oh! He had an appt on the 10th and he weighed in at 7lbs 11oz! Getting big!! I hope that keeps up... I'm ready to move on to his 0-3 month clothes.. his newborns are getting old! LOL I didn't expect him to be a "newborn" for so long!

He also got circumsized at that appointment. Made me sad.. don't even wanna talk about it right now. Poor baby! But he's doin' alright now, it appears to be healing like it should and doesn't seem to bother him at all!

He eats like a champ! Every 2-4 hours. I have noticed that he's nursing for shorter periods of time. Seems like he used to stay on the boob for 30-45 minutes, now sometimes he's satisfied after 15. Usually about 25 though. I have an app. LOL. Of course the end of it I think I'm more of a pacifier than a meal. He gets all sleepy and just sucks here and there. I let him do that till I'm sure he's good and asleep so that I can put him down without waking him and having to do it all over again. lol

Well I've covered eating, sleeping and pooping... and this is all about Zane, and that's all he does, so I must be done! Oh.. no I'm not! He's focusing on things more and more and following objects with his eyes. He's always had a strong neck but its getting stronger. He's acting like he's trying to crawl when I put him on his tummy. I mean I know he's nowhere near capable of crawling but he does the motions. He's just the best! :D We're lucky!

Let's end this with some random pix, shall we?

In completely random order... 

Mommy Babbles & Catching Up!

I really want to update more and better document my wonderful new life...

But who has the time?!

LOL

Actually I do have the time, but I guess I just don't usually feel like spending that time typing away.

To start I wanted to talk about my parenting fears! I think a couple months ago I mentioned on here that I was nervous about being a parent, being a good mom, knowing what to do. 

Well.. now that he's here, and even from the very first time I held him...

Fears squashed.

Even in the hospital, I surprised myself by knowing what to do. Knowing how to sway and pat his butt to calm him down. How did I know that? Because he's my baby, I guess. He's caused me very little stress. Maybe he is just a good baby, but maybe I'm also a good mom. And maybe those motherly instincts really are just awesome. I'm just happy that I handle him well, and I don't freak out about things, and I know that I'm doing well with him. 

There are things that freak me out a little, don't get me wrong. Like the noises he makes... sometimes it sounds like he's having trouble breathing. Hate that! 

Anyway, he is amazing, and I really do love being a mommy. 

Before Zane, especially toward the end of the pregnancy, I was used to getting 8-12 hours of sleep a night. Seriously. The last month I often slept 11-12 hours. So having a newborn and having to wake up throughout the night to care for him... I was nervous! But, again, from the very beginning with him, it hasn't been a problem. The first two nights with him, in the hospital, I didn't get much sleep between him and the nurses, but I was fine. I was able to be awake and capable of taking care of him and doing whatever I needed to do.  Then bringing him home and not getting good solid sleep and still I'm able to do what I need to do. I do nap with him at least once a day when we don't have to go to town. Usually after nursing. That always makes me sleepy. Its just amazing how the body adjusts! 

And nursing. At first it was kinda stressful. I couldn't figure out how to hold him or get him to latch on and it hurt and it was just frustrating! But I got past that after a few days and by now I've got it down! My left nipple has stimulation issues though and sometimes I can't get him to nurse on that side. It seems like it has to be really full for it to work, or he has to get a REALLY strong latch, which usually hurts! But we get it to work, and if we can't get it on that side, the right side is always ready! :) So overall nursing is going well! When I go to town, I generally nurse in the backseat of the truck with a blanket over the window. Yesterday I had to nurse in public for the first time at Ellie's birthday party at Peter Piper Pizza. It felt so weird and was awkward! That will take some getting used to.. hopefully I don't have to do it often!

Diapers and spit up don't gross me out at all. When its someone else's kid, it grosses me out, but with mine it doesn't bother me at all. And this boy loooooves to pee on me. Someday I'll learn! Its amazing how much pee can come out of such a little guy too. It just gets all over the place... me, him, the couch, etc. Earlier today he managed to get some on his face. D'oh! 

I'm pretty much in jammies all the time. I mean I get dressed to go places, but if I'm home its generally gym pants and a tank top. When I do get dressed, its usually still maternity bottoms or my new size 18 shorts that I had to buy. :/  I don't have many shirts that I really like on me right now. BUT I'm only 27lbs up from when I got pregnant which is 35lbs up from my lowest weight. If I lose 30 I'll be under 200 again. I've done it before and I'll do it again! Dr. O believes it'll come off with little effort. He says to keep nursing, go for walks and "kinda" watch what I eat. (lol, seriously!) and I should keep losing. If I don't I guess we'll reevaluate. Hopefully he's right and it comes right off. Fingers crossed!!

The 4th of July was Zane's first holiday and we had the best day! It started with the parade where we sat with Clint's brother in law and his kids. The Bagdad parade is nothing to write home about, but it was fun! Lots of candy being thrown out at the kids and it was just really nice to be out in the sun after being on bed rest and kinda cooped up for so long! And it was great to have Zane out and about, showing him off! We went home for an hour or so then it was time to go down and check out the big trucks! Every year they pull out a haul truck and a front end loader on the 4th for the community to get pictures with. I think it'll be fun to watch Zane grow in comparison to these trucks every year! Then we went to the firehouse for the BBQ, then home for a few hours... yay nap! At around 6 we went back out. There was a street fair with music, food and games. We ran into lots of people each of us knew. I got to meet some of his friends/coworkers and he got to meet some of the people I know from around town, and everyone was just ooo-ing and ahh-ing over our little guy. Love it!! He's just such a good cute baby and I just love showing him off! Its weird because I've never been a big show off, never been a big bragger. I don't flaunt the good things that I have or try to make people jealous. But when it comes to Zane..... be jealous!!! LOL He's the best thing I've ever done, ever had. I'm damn proud of him and I'll always want to show him off and brag about him. So deal with it! :-p After the street fair we got to watch the fireworks. It was the first time Bagdad's done fireworks in years, the first time I've got to see them here, and they were really nice. Again I'm gonna brag about my boy because he was awake the whole time and just watched them. The sound didn't phase him at all. All in all a great day!! It was nice being out as a family. Clint usually isn't into town festivites but maybe having Zane changed that because even he enjoyed it and kept saying that they should do stuff like that more often. So hopefully we'll start going to all the town things together! :)

Well I that's all I can think of for now. I should mention I typed this up over the course of 2 days. LOL.

I'll try to update more, and next time with pictures maybe!

Zane is here!

He's been here for over a week now... I'm just a slacker with the blogging!! 

I have sooo many things I want to talk about, but this first post is is birth story. 

It's long, so be prepared. Grab a snack or somethin'...

On Monday, June 17 I had an ultrasound and OB appt. The ultrasound went great as always. At the OB appt, Dr. O told me that my labs from the weekend came back fine, BUT my BP at the appt was high, and at 38 weeks pregnant, there's no reason to mess around with it. He did a cervix check and there was no dilation. He sent me over to OB triage to hook me up to those monitors and watch my BP. It never went down. So after several hours (around 9) and no dinner (you'd think they would have asked if I was hungry before the cafeteria closed... :/ ) they decided to admit me and induce in the AM. Of course, Clint was on nights so he wasn't there yet. He left work, dropped Zoey off at Robin's and got there as soon as he could... with dinner, of course! 

At 5AM Tuesday morning, they started me on Cytotek. Cytotek is a pill that they put on my cervix that softens it and gets it dilating. They gave me a new dose every 4 hours. Each time they had to check my cervix. That freaking hurt. Like.. miserably. Ugh, just thinking about it.. Anyway. The Cytotek also caused contractions. Really low abdomen and back contractions. They weren't spaced out like you expect contractions to be. They would come and go, but when they came, they lasted a long time, in waves. Like one would end and the next would start right back up. Eventually they would subside.. usually just in time for the next dose. :/ Tuesday was miserable. 

Oh, I forgot to mention, this whole time I'm hooked up to an IV, fetal monitors, a blood pressure cuff and idk what they're called, but they go on my calves and kinda massage to keep blood flow going. So I'm fairly immobile and getting up to pee (hourly) was a hassle. And of course I was peeing in a "hat" which I often overflowed if the nurse wasn't on top of keeping it empty. lol. 

My mom made it to town Tuesday evening. Clint's mom did too I believe. 

Oh, and Monday night they gave me Potassium through IV because my bloodwork showed it to be low. Potassium through IV freaking hurts!!! Like made me cry. She had to mix it with the fluids or something to make it not hurt. IDK why they don't do that in the first place. 

They gave it to me orally Tuesday and IV again on Wednesday or Thursday. 

By Tuesday night I was only dilated to "a dimple" I believe. IDK maybe I made it to 1cm by bedtime. Or maybe by morning. Its all kinda a blur now. They did continue the Cytotek through the night so it may have been 1cm by morning. Anyway. Wednesday morning they started me on Pitocin. Pitocin is meant to cause real contractions and really bring on labor. I wasn't allowed to eat or drink while on Pitocin so that part sucked.. Pitocin's contractions were easier than Cytotek's. They actually came and went like you expect them to and they weren't as severe. I was actually able to take a few naps between contractions whereas on Tuesday sleep was near impossible. 

With my mom being around, Clint was able to take a break. He went to mom's hotel room for a few hours to shower and nap while mom hung out with me. It was really good for him to have a break.. when he got back he was much more refreshed and more useful to me. lol. 

By Wednesday evening I was still only dilated to 1cm and I think 70% effaced (thinning of the cervix). The Dr that was at the hospital that day decided to give me a break! So they took me off the Pitocin and even the fetal monitors and let me eat dinner and take a shower. Then they gave me an Ambien! I really needed that good nights sleep after the two nights before of sleeping like crap! 

I was feeling so good after dinner and a shower, that we took a few pictures!

Thursday morning I started the Pitocin early again. After a few hours there was a new on-call doctor. Dr. Feingold. He came in around 8:30 and talked to us. There had still be no change in my cervix and he said that we could keep trying to induce but it wasn't looking like anything was gonna change. He recommended a C section, and by that point, I was feeling ready for it. I couldn't handle a third day of misery, especially knowing that by the end of the day there probably still wouldn't be a baby. Its not what I wanted, of course, but how long could I be in labor?? Clint and I had already known it was likely and had talked about it, so when Dr. F suggested it, we agreed right away. He said we could do it in an hour! 

So then it was time to get prepped for that. I had to sign some paperwork, meet the anesthesiologist, learn a little about the procedure, etc. Clint would be allowed in there once the spinal was done. Once Zane was born, they'd hand him over to Clint and I wouldn't be able to hold him yet, but I could see and touch him. 

That was the plan.. 

When I got into the OR (Clint had to wait outside the door for the first part), they had to move my IV. There was some kind of blockage or it wasn't big enough if they needed to do a transfusion or something. So they tried a new spot. Then another. Then another. I believe it was the third one that worked. OUCH. All this time, I'm still having contractions, btw. Once they finally got the IV in, it was time for my spinal. I got poked and poked and poked and it wasn't working.. I think he tried 4 times, 2 pokes each time, I believe. Again, kinda a blur. During these attempts, I was of course having contractions, and being told to arch my back a certain way and of course stay calm. Riiiighht... lol. It was so hard. So so hard. I was leaning all my weight on the nurses, gripping my hand into their hips, probably crying a little. The main nurse I was leaning on ended up being our favorite. Mel. After several minutes of this, I said "I don't think I can do this" and she said I could, and told me to picture Zane's little toes and his hair and things like that.. and it really helped. Gave me something positive, reminded me why I was doing this. 

But... after I think 4 attempts to numb me, the anesthesiologist decided to call it. I guess my bones were too close together and he couldn't get the needles deep enough. So I had to be knocked out completely. This changed the plan completely. Now Clint wasn't allowed in there. He had to go wait in the room. Once Zane was born, the nurses brought him to Clint and did his weight and all that. 

And this is the part that makes me emotional even now, over a week later, as I type it. We didn't get to see his first breath or hear his first cry. I didn't get to see the look on Clint's face the first time he saw his son. I didn't get to see the first time he held him. No pictures even, because no one informed the moms that plans had changed and Clint was back in our room. So all these firsts, all these important moments, and I missed them. Its just hard. 

(These two were taken by Clint, I assume, before I got back to the room.)

When I woke up, I was still in the OR asking if I had a baby, asking if he was okay, and asking where he was. I was told he was fine, and after a few minutes I was asking for water. lol. I got rolled into our room and a nurse was standing near Clint, holding Zane up so I could see him. All I remember about what he looked like at that moment was his full head of hair. 

Of course I was still loopy at this point. 

Once my bed was in place and locked down, Clint brought Zane over to me and I was able to hold him for the first time. My heart was so full.

We had nurses take a few pictures.

It was around this time that I asked for the stats! Zane was born perfectly healthy! He weighed 7lbs 6oz and was 20 inches long! His head was 14 1/4 inches around. He was born at 10:35AM

It wasn't long at all until they had me and Zane skin to skin and had me nursing. What an incredible feeling!!  

The moms were allowed in the room after I'd been back for 2 hours, so we had a little bit of time just the three of us.. and a bunch of nurses. lol. 

Here's some pictures from our time with Zane in the hospital!

 Clint was so good with him right off the bat. He blew me away. 

^^  Looks like this one was after a shower! Probably close to going home time. ^^

Zane was ridiculously easy to care for those first 24 hours or so. He mostly slept. And it may have seemed easier than it was because I wasn't allowed to get up. So when he needed something Clint, Mom or a nurse had to do it. It was actually kinda sad for me when they changed his first diaper. I didn't get to even see. They gave him his first bath and I had an obstructed view. Things like that made me sad. But I know none of that really matters. He's healthy!! 

After surgery, I was still having some issues with my blood pressure. They had to check and medicate every 4 hours until they got it in the safety zone where they wanted it. After that it stayed down pretty well. 

On Friday morning, Jenn came to visit and do his first photo shoot! Here's a preview. 

(I'll post the rest at the end of the entry. )

We got discharged Saturday around noon. We finally got to take our little guy home!!

And here are more pictures by Jennifer Rice Photography. 

I hope to update soon with more about his first days and my new life as a mommy. 

All I'll say now is that I'm loving every minute.