Worry.

It's really hard not to worry about the baby. Even if there's nothing specific causing the worry. I'm constantly worrying. I was talking to my brother today and realized why I'm so worried. It's because at this early stage, my doctors appointments are a month a part, and in the meantime there's nothing telling me that the baby is okay. It's too early to feel movement, so I don't know what's going on in there. Once you're used to the baby kicking and moving all the time, you notice if it doesn't move for a long time, and you know to be worried. At this point the only sign I could have that something is wrong is bleeding or cramping. Both of which occur often in pregnancies with no complication. So if I have those signs, how do I know when it's severe enough to head to the ER? When it's too late? All I can do is hope & believe that Baby Jolly is okay and that we were meant to have this baby and nothing with ruin that for us! I just gotta have faith. It's just hard sometimes. I told Clint last night that I wish I had a live-in doctor that could check me out every day to ease my mind! But.. that'd be awfully expensive, huh? Oh well.


Wish me luck at my next appt on the 25th (unless I can get it moved up). Clint's gonna have to come with me. I'm too nervous to go alone.