Finally an update, my boy is ONE!

Well it's totes been forevsies since I've updated. My bad!

Zane is 13 months old now. Can you believe it?

This has, without a doubt, been the best 13 months of my life.

Ever. For sure.

Photo Credit to Jennifer Rice Photography.

Look at those eyebrows! He gets them from his dad.

He makes the best expressions. He's not big on smiling on demand (ie for pictures), but he's always giving us those funny looks and it makes up for it. (and of course we catch some smiles, too).

He's a thinker. He's curious. He's funny. He's sweet. He's tough.

Me? I'm just lucky. 

I mean look at my amazing family.. 

   

Anyway. We're doing really good. I'm gonna throw out some facts, mostly for future reference for myself. He had 8 teeth before his birthday, the last two came in around 10 months. He did a lot of army crawling before he did any real crawling, which finally happened around 8-9 months. He started pulling himself up shortly after. He took his very first step on May 30, but they were few and far between until a couple weeks after his birthday. He still crawls most of the time, but does a whole lot of walking too. He still can't stand without assistance but once he's up he's off! 

At his one year checkup, he weighed 21lbs and 12oz and was 29 3/4 inches long!

He loves to dance. And he does it in the most adorable way. I can't get enough of his moves!

His favorite show is Squeak on the Baby First channel. He just loves Tog, Toot and Tizzy Mouse and when the theme song comes on it can almost always calm him down if he's upset. I have a few episodes recorded just for that. ;) 

He loves Zoey, he thinks she's hilarious and wants to eat her fur. We don't allow this, but he tries anyway. She is very tolerant of him, which we're thankful for.  

He loves bananas and blueberries, beans, elbow mac with marinara, and veggie straws.

He loves to be outside.

He loves bath time.

He loves older children who love to play with him.

He loves cars and any toy he can push around the floor, walking or crawling. But mostly he loves things that aren't toys. Remote controls, sunglasses, and he loved my phone the few times he's gotten his hands on it.  

I nursed far longer than I ever intended to. Less than a week after his birthday, I cut it down to only night nursing. About 2 weeks ago I stopped night nursing.

When I quit day nursing, it was because I realized I could. He was able to nap without nursing, so one day after his morning nap I just decided I wasn't gonna nurse till bedtime. It went well.

When I quit altogether, it was similar. Bed time was approaching and I just decided I wouldn't nurse. It really wasn't as difficult as I expected. I guess we were both pretty ready for it. Don't get me wrong, there are still times it would be so much easier if I could just stick a boob in his mouth. That almost always solved his problems. But without nursing, I've noticed that we've got a better routine going, and he doesn't wake up as much through the night. He's still perfectly healthy, and I'm able to get more sleep and most of all- my body is mine again, finally, after almost 2 years! I no longer have to think about how what I put in my body will affect Zane. I can drink if I want to drink! I can be away from him for an entire day if I want to be. Hasn't happened yet, but I'm thinking that's not far away. 

I mentioned a routine.

Now its not exact, but I can't expect too much, can I?

It goes something like this... 

We wake up between 6 and 7. 

Breakfast followed by playtime or whatever.

Good snack around 10.

He takes a nap around 10:30 till about noon.

Lunch. More playtime and whatnot.

Another nap around 4 till around 5:30.

More playtime and such.

His dinner is between 6:30 and 7:30.

Then he gets a bath.

And he falls asleep between 8:30 and 9:30.

This is where it varies, because he used to still wake up around midnight, but lately he's be sleeping all the way till 4. At that time, I give him applesauce and we watch cartoons in the recliner and we both go back to sleep. Sometimes I put him in bed and get back in my own bed, sometimes I don't. When I was nursing, I would bring him to our bed early in the morning like that, and sometimes I miss sleeping with him. So I don't mind a couple hours snoozing on the recliner with him.

Sometimes I have to fight to get him to nap (like this morning.. omg!), sometimes he goes down easily and quietly by himself.

Obviously there are days our routine is shot. Those days are typically called grocery shoping days.

Thankfully Zane is The Incredible Sleeping Baby (thats his official hashtag). He sleeps pretty much the entire way to town, and usually takes a little nap sometime while we're out. Either between stores or in Wal Mart. I've got some great pictures of my shopping cart sleeper. Then amazingly, he sleeps the whole way home. He's incredible! And he may go to bed a little later that night, but not much. I'm so lucky!

We also do things here in Bagdad. We have a Mommy Group every other Tuesday morning where we have a babysitter for all the kids and its usually 7 or 8 of us mamas in the other room doing a craft or playing a game and just talking. Its a nice little break from the kids, and Zane loves playing with all the other kids, and I've made some friends out of the deal! 

Every Thursday is story time at the library. He gets pretty restless during story time, not gonna lie, but after about 15 minutes of stories, we get some playtime with the other kids. Of course he always wants to roam around the library outside of the kids section, so he keeps me on my toes!

We also have the occasional park play date, but its been too hot to do that often. The pool closes soon, but we've made a handful of trips to the pool this summer and he's enjoyed it more and more each time. The first time he was very unsure about it. The last time he had a blast! We put him in a little floatie "boat" so we can push him around and he can splash.

 Most of our days are spent primarily at home. I'm so lucky that I'm able to be a stay at home mama and just focus on raising my little boy. I can't imagine not knowing when he eats, poops, and sleeps. These are the things my life revolves around. He spends some time playing by himself, and some time demanding my attention. I'm happy either way.

Most of the time, lol. Of course there are times I wish I could just crawl back in bed.

Clint amazes me on a pretty regular basis. He is a fantastic Daddy.

Like, really.

He loves his boy so much. He would do anything for him, and for me.

He doesn't change a lot of diapers or give him a lot of meals. But he'll come home after working all day and cook dinner (not every day, of course, I'm a better wife than that). He lets me get away with a messy house. He has this almost annoying way of calming Zane down when I can't and getting him to sleep. I don't know how he does it. He's fun and silly and makes Zane (and I) laugh all the time. They don't get a ton of time just the two of them, but I am 100% confident in him when those times do come. A lot of moms can't say that. I know he'll meet all his needs, even if he may do things differently than I would.

He's just the best husband and dad. I couldn't have asked for anything better. Again I say, I'm so lucky.

I think I've covered just about everything, except myself.

I do get some "me" time, believe it or not.

I go to the gym just about every week day, and some Saturdays. When I'm at the gym Zane is either with Clint or in day care. I'm not losing weight at this point, but I'm about to be making some changes and hopefully I'll start dropping some weight. But this isn't a weight post, so moving on...

I play Bunco! Its so much fun! I play with the same girls from the moms group and the library, and sometimes a few others. I love that adult time where we can just have fun and be silly and throw things at each other! ;) Of course there's always at least a few children running around.

When Zane naps I used to do housework, but now I try to do that while he's awake so I can enjoy my "me" time. I either scrapbook or get caught up on my DVR (while folding laundry, because that's almost impossible with Zane "helping"). Right now he's in bed and I'm using my "me" time to finally update my blog. :) 

And I think that about covers it. I mean I've been typing for a good two hours, surely I didn't leave anything out.

Hopefully it won't be so long before I update again. 

All phots by Jennifer Rice Photography

Shushybye and Goodnight!

(I may have been watching too much Baby First ;) )

August 3, 2013

I don't know why I have such a hard time finding time to blog! I spend the majority of my time sitting here on my couch with my laptop, it seems. But I guess a lot of that time I have a baby keeping me from using both hands, and I'm so not into blogging with one hand! 

Sooo things are still going great!! And I'm not just saying that. When I say I love being a mom and spending my time with him and I don't mind not having my time to myself anymore, I feel like I sound like I'm saying what I'm "supposed" to say. Like if I said anything else people would think I was unappreciative. But that's not it. I really do love being a mom and spending my days with him and I really don't mind not having much me time. Okay, there are times... a lot of times.. when he keeps me from doing things I want to do, like scrapbooking, but he's worth it. 

So here's how my life is lately. Zane and I get out of bed around 9, he eats breakfast and usually takes a short nap afterward. This is when I eat my breakfast, with him in his swing. He usually has an hour or two of awake time before noon. If he's happy (which he usually is), this is a good time for tummy time. Sometimes I fold laundry during tummy time. Its a good time to get it done! Lately he's awake more and seems hungrier, so he takes a lot of cat naps and has a lot of snacks. Sometimes he'll just nurse for a few minutes at a time and that can't count as a meal. Its probably more comfort nursing than anything, but I don't mind. Throughout the day when he sleeps I try to be productive and/or scrapbook. When he's awake I'm nursing him (which is good relaxing computer time for me) and playing with him, trying to make him smile and coo. I'm not perfect, in the mornings I'll just hold him because I'm still sleepy and I don't really play with him much, he just sits in my lap and chills. He usually has a good awake stretch in the evening. This is another good time for tummy time and time with Dad if he's not at work. When he goes to sleep around 11-12 is when its bed time. I make sure he's good and asleep in his arms then I put him in his pack & play (in our room) and I get myself ready for bed. He wakes up usually around 4 to nurse and then the little booger wants to stay awake for a while. The first night of this drove me crazy, then I was prepared for it and now I just let him sit, either on me or in the boppy, and I read or play phone games until he's ready nurse again and go back to sleep. We're usually up a little over an hour. Once I'm sure he's out I put him back down (swaddled, btw. He sleeps swaddled) and we sleep until around 9. He starts making noises before then but nothing serious. Then we do it all over again!

(I should add that I've thought we had a routine a few times and its changed quick. This has been the routine for several days now, lets see how long it sticks!)

Today he's having a very sleepy day!! I've gotten enough house work done, and some scrapping, and I figured it was a good time to blog. He's asleep on me on the boppy but  he's not blocking any hands from typing! Once he wakes up, I'll try to keep him awake for a while, but that usually doesn't work. I'll put him down for tummy time and he falls right asleep. So I put a blanket on him. What else am I gonna do? Not gonna force him to be awake. 

Speaking of Tummy Time, he seems to enjoy it! I'll leave him on his tummy for a while and he looooove staring at himself in the little mirror that came with his "activity gym" as they call it. He's also showing more interest in the toys lately. He'll lift his head and turn it from side to side. He lifts his chest a little, not a ton. He kicks and wiggles his legs around a lot and can scoot a little and turn his body. Sometimes he's more active than others. Sometimes when he's down there he likes to watch the TV. Probably not good to start that habit so young! LOL Then sometimes I'll lay down next to him and talk to him and make faces and sounds at him, trying to get him to mimic me. Sometimes he'll mimic my faces. He's "cooed" a few times now. But.. the little booger still hasn't really smiled for me! I caught one "smile" on camera. It was a time that I was trying to get him to smile, but I'm not sure it was intentional. Another time my MIL, niece and I were laughing at a face or noise he made or something, and I SWEAR it was an intentional smile, but it hasn't happened since. So I don't know. I just want the boy to smile for me! I feel like he's ahead of the curve with physical development but behind with social development. Its kinda frustrating, but I know he'll get there! 

The only problem he has is he is SO gassy. So so sooo gassy! And its uncomfortable for him. Sometimes it seems to be trouble pooing, other times its just gas. But he'll get fussy and make faces and grunty noises and clench his tummy and I know he's not feeling good. I can put my hand on his tummy and feel the gurgling. After a while I'll hear a big fart or poo and that makes me sooooo happy knowing he's had some relief! Usually it takes a couple of these to get it all out, then he's my happy boy again. I do all kinds of things to help him get it out. Trying to burp him in all kinds of positions, Gripe Water, etc. Sometimes nursing seems to help get it out. I don't know if thats just coincidence. When he's fussy like that, I do try to give him a paci, but he usually won't take it. I'm persistent but if he doesn't want it he doesn't want it. 

Speaking of pacis.. Its one of the things that I've surprised myself with. I bought half a dozen pacis and figured he would be a paci baby. But for some reason once he was born I decided I didn't like them. I know there's nothing wrong with them, and I know they can be soothing. I'm not saying anything against people who give their babies pacis. Its just a preference that I didn't know I had till I had a baby! LOL People tell me that you can take away a paci but you can't cut off his thumb (to break the habit), but idk. I'm still not into pacis. But like I said I'll give it to him to try to soothe him when he's not feeling well. And I can't guarantee that I'll never give it to him to keep him quiet while driving or something. We'll see. So far he's fine on car rides. 

I've also surprised myself with how easy it is for me to drop what I'm doing when he wakes up. I thought that would be something that drove me nuts, but if I'm doing housework or scrapping or whatever, and he's ready to eat, I don't mind taking care of him first. I'll get back to my stuff later (maybe). And if he stays awake after nursing I'll still spend time with him, and if its bath day I'll give him a bath. I can't work him around my schedule, its gotta be the other way around, at least for a while. And like a week or two ago when I was getting the house ready for my in laws to visit, him needing me was  a great excuse to take a break, and it probably kept me from over doing it. 

Another new weird thing is like when I'm getting ready to go to town, I can't be stressy about leaving at a certain time. I make my appointments and things later in the day, and I leave when I leave. I used to be so on schedule with things. I wanted to leave at this time, to get there at this time and have lunch before the appt, then go shopping after and be home at a decent hour, etc. But now I try to leave with plenty of time to do things before the appt, but really I leave when I leave. He's gotta be fed right before we go, and I let him get good and full, so however long that takes is how long it takes. I've learned to be more laid back about things. 

Oh! We've mostly moved up to 0-3 size clothes! Bottoms still look a little goofy on him, but sleepers and onesies, he's in 0-3! He doesn't wear bottoms much anyway! :p 

As for me, I'm doing good. I can't remember what I said about my BP in my last post, but I was on two different medications, taking 5 pills a day. At my 4 week post partum appt they dropped one of those pills, and my 6 week appt (just the other day), they dropped a whole medication and now I'm just taking 2 pills a day, and so far my BP is doing great that way. But my OB does want me to start seeing a primary care dr for my BP, because its not fully back to normal by now, and he seems to believe I'm gonna have BP issues for a while. So I'm alright with that, I guess. I just gotta research doctors now, no fun!! He gave me a list but its quite a long one! lol. 

I'm weighing in at 233, and it was the same at my 4 week appt. So I'm maintaining pretty well. I have clearance to start going to the gym again but haven't done it yet. I should do it in the AM when he takes his good late morning nap and I can take him with me if he'll just sleep in his car seat. I'm just afraid he'll wake up.. or maybe that's an excuse. I do plan to go on Clint's next days off so that I can leave Zane at home. I've been learning about pumping and can leave Clint with a bottle just in case, but I'll go while he's sleeping. And the gym is only 2 minutes away so if Zane was just inconsolable without his Mama, I can be home quick! I've left Clint with him for a half hour or so to run to the store, and its been fine. He doesn't wake up, I probably don't really need to stress about leaving milk the first time. I can't imagine I'll stay more than a half hour. Its been over 9 months since I've worked out, I don't think my stamina is quite the same!

Speaking of things not being the same, all I'm gonna say is "ouch." If you've had kids you know what you're allowed to do after 6 weeks and.. ouch. 

I'm gonna end with that, and here are some pictures of my sweet boy!

Mommy Babbles & Catching Up!

I really want to update more and better document my wonderful new life...

But who has the time?!

LOL

Actually I do have the time, but I guess I just don't usually feel like spending that time typing away.

To start I wanted to talk about my parenting fears! I think a couple months ago I mentioned on here that I was nervous about being a parent, being a good mom, knowing what to do. 

Well.. now that he's here, and even from the very first time I held him...

Fears squashed.

Even in the hospital, I surprised myself by knowing what to do. Knowing how to sway and pat his butt to calm him down. How did I know that? Because he's my baby, I guess. He's caused me very little stress. Maybe he is just a good baby, but maybe I'm also a good mom. And maybe those motherly instincts really are just awesome. I'm just happy that I handle him well, and I don't freak out about things, and I know that I'm doing well with him. 

There are things that freak me out a little, don't get me wrong. Like the noises he makes... sometimes it sounds like he's having trouble breathing. Hate that! 

Anyway, he is amazing, and I really do love being a mommy. 

Before Zane, especially toward the end of the pregnancy, I was used to getting 8-12 hours of sleep a night. Seriously. The last month I often slept 11-12 hours. So having a newborn and having to wake up throughout the night to care for him... I was nervous! But, again, from the very beginning with him, it hasn't been a problem. The first two nights with him, in the hospital, I didn't get much sleep between him and the nurses, but I was fine. I was able to be awake and capable of taking care of him and doing whatever I needed to do.  Then bringing him home and not getting good solid sleep and still I'm able to do what I need to do. I do nap with him at least once a day when we don't have to go to town. Usually after nursing. That always makes me sleepy. Its just amazing how the body adjusts! 

And nursing. At first it was kinda stressful. I couldn't figure out how to hold him or get him to latch on and it hurt and it was just frustrating! But I got past that after a few days and by now I've got it down! My left nipple has stimulation issues though and sometimes I can't get him to nurse on that side. It seems like it has to be really full for it to work, or he has to get a REALLY strong latch, which usually hurts! But we get it to work, and if we can't get it on that side, the right side is always ready! :) So overall nursing is going well! When I go to town, I generally nurse in the backseat of the truck with a blanket over the window. Yesterday I had to nurse in public for the first time at Ellie's birthday party at Peter Piper Pizza. It felt so weird and was awkward! That will take some getting used to.. hopefully I don't have to do it often!

Diapers and spit up don't gross me out at all. When its someone else's kid, it grosses me out, but with mine it doesn't bother me at all. And this boy loooooves to pee on me. Someday I'll learn! Its amazing how much pee can come out of such a little guy too. It just gets all over the place... me, him, the couch, etc. Earlier today he managed to get some on his face. D'oh! 

I'm pretty much in jammies all the time. I mean I get dressed to go places, but if I'm home its generally gym pants and a tank top. When I do get dressed, its usually still maternity bottoms or my new size 18 shorts that I had to buy. :/  I don't have many shirts that I really like on me right now. BUT I'm only 27lbs up from when I got pregnant which is 35lbs up from my lowest weight. If I lose 30 I'll be under 200 again. I've done it before and I'll do it again! Dr. O believes it'll come off with little effort. He says to keep nursing, go for walks and "kinda" watch what I eat. (lol, seriously!) and I should keep losing. If I don't I guess we'll reevaluate. Hopefully he's right and it comes right off. Fingers crossed!!

The 4th of July was Zane's first holiday and we had the best day! It started with the parade where we sat with Clint's brother in law and his kids. The Bagdad parade is nothing to write home about, but it was fun! Lots of candy being thrown out at the kids and it was just really nice to be out in the sun after being on bed rest and kinda cooped up for so long! And it was great to have Zane out and about, showing him off! We went home for an hour or so then it was time to go down and check out the big trucks! Every year they pull out a haul truck and a front end loader on the 4th for the community to get pictures with. I think it'll be fun to watch Zane grow in comparison to these trucks every year! Then we went to the firehouse for the BBQ, then home for a few hours... yay nap! At around 6 we went back out. There was a street fair with music, food and games. We ran into lots of people each of us knew. I got to meet some of his friends/coworkers and he got to meet some of the people I know from around town, and everyone was just ooo-ing and ahh-ing over our little guy. Love it!! He's just such a good cute baby and I just love showing him off! Its weird because I've never been a big show off, never been a big bragger. I don't flaunt the good things that I have or try to make people jealous. But when it comes to Zane..... be jealous!!! LOL He's the best thing I've ever done, ever had. I'm damn proud of him and I'll always want to show him off and brag about him. So deal with it! :-p After the street fair we got to watch the fireworks. It was the first time Bagdad's done fireworks in years, the first time I've got to see them here, and they were really nice. Again I'm gonna brag about my boy because he was awake the whole time and just watched them. The sound didn't phase him at all. All in all a great day!! It was nice being out as a family. Clint usually isn't into town festivites but maybe having Zane changed that because even he enjoyed it and kept saying that they should do stuff like that more often. So hopefully we'll start going to all the town things together! :)

Well I that's all I can think of for now. I should mention I typed this up over the course of 2 days. LOL.

I'll try to update more, and next time with pictures maybe!

Zane is here!

He's been here for over a week now... I'm just a slacker with the blogging!! 

I have sooo many things I want to talk about, but this first post is is birth story. 

It's long, so be prepared. Grab a snack or somethin'...

On Monday, June 17 I had an ultrasound and OB appt. The ultrasound went great as always. At the OB appt, Dr. O told me that my labs from the weekend came back fine, BUT my BP at the appt was high, and at 38 weeks pregnant, there's no reason to mess around with it. He did a cervix check and there was no dilation. He sent me over to OB triage to hook me up to those monitors and watch my BP. It never went down. So after several hours (around 9) and no dinner (you'd think they would have asked if I was hungry before the cafeteria closed... :/ ) they decided to admit me and induce in the AM. Of course, Clint was on nights so he wasn't there yet. He left work, dropped Zoey off at Robin's and got there as soon as he could... with dinner, of course! 

At 5AM Tuesday morning, they started me on Cytotek. Cytotek is a pill that they put on my cervix that softens it and gets it dilating. They gave me a new dose every 4 hours. Each time they had to check my cervix. That freaking hurt. Like.. miserably. Ugh, just thinking about it.. Anyway. The Cytotek also caused contractions. Really low abdomen and back contractions. They weren't spaced out like you expect contractions to be. They would come and go, but when they came, they lasted a long time, in waves. Like one would end and the next would start right back up. Eventually they would subside.. usually just in time for the next dose. :/ Tuesday was miserable. 

Oh, I forgot to mention, this whole time I'm hooked up to an IV, fetal monitors, a blood pressure cuff and idk what they're called, but they go on my calves and kinda massage to keep blood flow going. So I'm fairly immobile and getting up to pee (hourly) was a hassle. And of course I was peeing in a "hat" which I often overflowed if the nurse wasn't on top of keeping it empty. lol. 

My mom made it to town Tuesday evening. Clint's mom did too I believe. 

Oh, and Monday night they gave me Potassium through IV because my bloodwork showed it to be low. Potassium through IV freaking hurts!!! Like made me cry. She had to mix it with the fluids or something to make it not hurt. IDK why they don't do that in the first place. 

They gave it to me orally Tuesday and IV again on Wednesday or Thursday. 

By Tuesday night I was only dilated to "a dimple" I believe. IDK maybe I made it to 1cm by bedtime. Or maybe by morning. Its all kinda a blur now. They did continue the Cytotek through the night so it may have been 1cm by morning. Anyway. Wednesday morning they started me on Pitocin. Pitocin is meant to cause real contractions and really bring on labor. I wasn't allowed to eat or drink while on Pitocin so that part sucked.. Pitocin's contractions were easier than Cytotek's. They actually came and went like you expect them to and they weren't as severe. I was actually able to take a few naps between contractions whereas on Tuesday sleep was near impossible. 

With my mom being around, Clint was able to take a break. He went to mom's hotel room for a few hours to shower and nap while mom hung out with me. It was really good for him to have a break.. when he got back he was much more refreshed and more useful to me. lol. 

By Wednesday evening I was still only dilated to 1cm and I think 70% effaced (thinning of the cervix). The Dr that was at the hospital that day decided to give me a break! So they took me off the Pitocin and even the fetal monitors and let me eat dinner and take a shower. Then they gave me an Ambien! I really needed that good nights sleep after the two nights before of sleeping like crap! 

I was feeling so good after dinner and a shower, that we took a few pictures!

Thursday morning I started the Pitocin early again. After a few hours there was a new on-call doctor. Dr. Feingold. He came in around 8:30 and talked to us. There had still be no change in my cervix and he said that we could keep trying to induce but it wasn't looking like anything was gonna change. He recommended a C section, and by that point, I was feeling ready for it. I couldn't handle a third day of misery, especially knowing that by the end of the day there probably still wouldn't be a baby. Its not what I wanted, of course, but how long could I be in labor?? Clint and I had already known it was likely and had talked about it, so when Dr. F suggested it, we agreed right away. He said we could do it in an hour! 

So then it was time to get prepped for that. I had to sign some paperwork, meet the anesthesiologist, learn a little about the procedure, etc. Clint would be allowed in there once the spinal was done. Once Zane was born, they'd hand him over to Clint and I wouldn't be able to hold him yet, but I could see and touch him. 

That was the plan.. 

When I got into the OR (Clint had to wait outside the door for the first part), they had to move my IV. There was some kind of blockage or it wasn't big enough if they needed to do a transfusion or something. So they tried a new spot. Then another. Then another. I believe it was the third one that worked. OUCH. All this time, I'm still having contractions, btw. Once they finally got the IV in, it was time for my spinal. I got poked and poked and poked and it wasn't working.. I think he tried 4 times, 2 pokes each time, I believe. Again, kinda a blur. During these attempts, I was of course having contractions, and being told to arch my back a certain way and of course stay calm. Riiiighht... lol. It was so hard. So so hard. I was leaning all my weight on the nurses, gripping my hand into their hips, probably crying a little. The main nurse I was leaning on ended up being our favorite. Mel. After several minutes of this, I said "I don't think I can do this" and she said I could, and told me to picture Zane's little toes and his hair and things like that.. and it really helped. Gave me something positive, reminded me why I was doing this. 

But... after I think 4 attempts to numb me, the anesthesiologist decided to call it. I guess my bones were too close together and he couldn't get the needles deep enough. So I had to be knocked out completely. This changed the plan completely. Now Clint wasn't allowed in there. He had to go wait in the room. Once Zane was born, the nurses brought him to Clint and did his weight and all that. 

And this is the part that makes me emotional even now, over a week later, as I type it. We didn't get to see his first breath or hear his first cry. I didn't get to see the look on Clint's face the first time he saw his son. I didn't get to see the first time he held him. No pictures even, because no one informed the moms that plans had changed and Clint was back in our room. So all these firsts, all these important moments, and I missed them. Its just hard. 

(These two were taken by Clint, I assume, before I got back to the room.)

When I woke up, I was still in the OR asking if I had a baby, asking if he was okay, and asking where he was. I was told he was fine, and after a few minutes I was asking for water. lol. I got rolled into our room and a nurse was standing near Clint, holding Zane up so I could see him. All I remember about what he looked like at that moment was his full head of hair. 

Of course I was still loopy at this point. 

Once my bed was in place and locked down, Clint brought Zane over to me and I was able to hold him for the first time. My heart was so full.

We had nurses take a few pictures.

It was around this time that I asked for the stats! Zane was born perfectly healthy! He weighed 7lbs 6oz and was 20 inches long! His head was 14 1/4 inches around. He was born at 10:35AM

It wasn't long at all until they had me and Zane skin to skin and had me nursing. What an incredible feeling!!  

The moms were allowed in the room after I'd been back for 2 hours, so we had a little bit of time just the three of us.. and a bunch of nurses. lol. 

Here's some pictures from our time with Zane in the hospital!

 Clint was so good with him right off the bat. He blew me away. 

^^  Looks like this one was after a shower! Probably close to going home time. ^^

Zane was ridiculously easy to care for those first 24 hours or so. He mostly slept. And it may have seemed easier than it was because I wasn't allowed to get up. So when he needed something Clint, Mom or a nurse had to do it. It was actually kinda sad for me when they changed his first diaper. I didn't get to even see. They gave him his first bath and I had an obstructed view. Things like that made me sad. But I know none of that really matters. He's healthy!! 

After surgery, I was still having some issues with my blood pressure. They had to check and medicate every 4 hours until they got it in the safety zone where they wanted it. After that it stayed down pretty well. 

On Friday morning, Jenn came to visit and do his first photo shoot! Here's a preview. 

(I'll post the rest at the end of the entry. )

We got discharged Saturday around noon. We finally got to take our little guy home!!

And here are more pictures by Jennifer Rice Photography. 

I hope to update soon with more about his first days and my new life as a mommy. 

All I'll say now is that I'm loving every minute. 

June 5, 2013

Well I guess its about time I update with my latest appointments and such.

Let's see.... My appt on Memorial Day at the hospital went great. My BP was really not bad at all and my bloodwork and urine both came back great! We were only there about an hour and I obviously wasn't readmitted!! Super yay to that! We went to Chili's afterwards, and I felt kinda like I was breaking the rules... but we gotta eat right??! And it was almost my birthday so I deserved it... and that desert we got. Mmmmm! 

My OB appt for Thursday we moved to Friday (31st), that was last Friday, and it went well too. They did a NST there and its much different from the way they do it at the hospital. Its pretty old school looking. The monitors don't show up on a big screen that we can watch, but we can hear the heartbeat. Every time I feel him move, I have to press a button. They want me to keep him active so they know he's alright. Luckily I had a cookie in my purse. hehe. 

After that we saw Dr. O. Everything on the NST looked good, urine was good and BP again wasn't too bad. High on the first check, but great on the recheck when I lay down which is what matters to him I guess. We learned a lot at this appt. The reason they are monitoring Zane so much is because the high blood pressure can actually lower his oxygen supply. Thankfully that isn't happening with us at this point and he is doing great!! He told us that it no longer looks like pre-e but at the time I was in the hospital it did. He says its just "Pregnancy Induced Hypertension" (PIH) at this point but can still develop into pre-e, and they're still watching me closely. He checked my cervix and there's nothing going on with it and he said that Zane was breech, which I figured he was. So we talked about that a bit. If he's breech when its time to deliver it means a C section. There is a way they can flip him but I don't think we'd opt to do it. It can put a knot in the cord, for one. Dr. O explained it to us in a way that I can handle a C section a lot better than Zane can handle any complications. In 10 years we won't regret having a C section but we will regret losing or hurting our boy. And he's right, so I really don't think we would opt to take that risk. Also, the way they do it is they give me something that relaxes my uterus the lube up my belly and manually flip him.. like they grab his head and butt and flip him and he said it would leave bruises on me and its really not comfortable.

Of course I really don't want a C section. Extra recovery time aside, I would feel like I was missing out on the experience of childbirth, and that thought makes me sad. 

He said he wanted to see me TWICE a week. Once a week is a biophysical ultrasound and my regular weekly appt. The other is a just a NST. We scheduled the ultrasound for Monday and the NST for Thursday of this week.

Scared of a C section, I looked into some home remedies to flip the baby! On Sunday night, I actually ended up doing the one they taught us in the birthing class. You just get on all fours with your head and chest down for 10-15 minutes. (I did this while playing Dice With Buddies, lol). While doing it I felt him move a little. After I laid down I felt him move A LOT. I was sooooo optimistic!!! 

Monday we had our ultrasound and sure enough the little guy had flipped!!! I was soooo happy and relieved!! He could always decide to flip back but fingers crossed he doesn't! Everything else with the u/s looked good. It was really quick though! :( She gave us two pictures. One you can hardly tell is his profile, the other is his boy parts, clear as day. That one just cracks me up. He's so not shy. I'm afraid he's gonna like to run around naked at inappropriate times...he'll be the boy at the pool who decides to go skinny dipping. Haha!

After the u/s we saw Dr. O. He checked my cervix again and still nothing going on there. I'm just instructed to keep doing what I'm doing. 

But I'm really ready to have this baby!! Now that I know he's in position I just want him out! I actually enjoy being pregnant and feeling him move around in there. It's pretty amazing. But I'm so done with bed rest. And nothing around me is getting done and I just want to get back to normal. Or.. the new normal, I guess. Obviously it won't be "normal" having Zane here. But you know what I mean. A little activity will be nice!

I spend my days laying on the couch playing Farmville and ZooWorld while watching TV, mostly. I go to bed at like 11 and read and play phone games till 12 or 1. I sleep till 9 or 10 and do it all over again. Its truely exciting... LOL not!!

Oh, I think I've gained 48lbs since being pregnant, btw. Bed rest is surely not gonna help that number stay down. LOL. Oh well... motivation for afterwards!!

So obviously at this point since everything is going fine, there's no talk of inducing. :(  I do need to talk to him about inducing based on distance, but I get the feeling he's not into the idea. Maybe if my Group B swab comes back positive it'll be more necessary and we can justify it. If I'm positive for that I have to have an IV antibiotic 4 hours before delivery... and living 2 hours from the hospital we may not get there in time. 

Anyway I think that's all the medical updates! I have an appt tomorrow for the NST, then ultrasound Monday and NST Thrusday again. I imagine it'll stay like that until we have him. Which I'm hoping we have him on the 11th so that we're in the hospital for the scheduled power outage on the 12th. LOL Wishful thinking!! 

So I spent my birthday on bed rest and it pretty much sucked. IDK if it was because of my birthday or what, but I was so emotional and hormonal by the end of the day. Partly because Clint didn't come right home from work, so I assumed he was getting me dinner or something special, but no...  he just got caught up talking to someone. :/  He did bring roses, though, so he's gotta get some credit for that. The next day I was a crazy hormonal bitch to him too. Poor guy. I think the bed rest was getting to me too. Anyway, that just sucked. 

But since then, I've been a lot better mentally, so yay!

The other day when we went to town Clint went into Game Stop and came out with a used iPod for me. I decided to call it a late birthday present because before all this hospital stuff happened I was supposed to get an iPod (or a camera) for my birthday. But we figured we should stop spending money. Especially on something that I've lost 2 of already. :/  So when he came out with this I was so excited! Its an older, smaller version, but it'll do the trick!! I'll really need it when I get back to the gym, and for now it keeps me from having to bring my computer with me to town for music. Yes I've actually been doing that.. I can make it play through the truck speakers. So the iPod is much better!!

Oh! I almost forgot to mention that Clint got the crib assembled! Yaaaay!! He still needs to do the glider and of course there's decorating and clean up to do in there, but we're making progress!

I guess that's it.... With any luck my next update will be a birth announcement!

Doubtful, but ya never know!

Here's my latest picture, taken on Memorial Day (before going to my appt).

May 17, 2013

Time for me weekend update!

Tuesday's childbirth class was pretty great! Well first it was pretty scary because they showed a video of labor and birth and it just looks miserable. Like seriously how am I gonna do this??! I plan to get an epi, but contractions hurt before you can get the epi too! AND what if I don't make it to the hospital in time?! I'm 2 hours out and if I wait till the contractions are 5 minutes apart of an hour like I'm supposed to... then what if I progress quickly after that and I can't get my epi?!?! 

Scared!!!

Sigh. But I'm sure I'll survive. 

I just really hate to think of myself screaming in agony in a room full of people.

I don't think I'm the type of person who benefits from watching that video beforehand. 

For some reason I hadn't thought about the pain involved with labor until we started these classes. I knew it wasn't a walk in the park, but I just hadn't really thought about it beyond that.

I miss those days.

But after the video and some other stuff, it was time for... breathing exercises!

Okay I am so not good at doing weird things like that in front of people.

I may have gotten a small case of the giggles.

Had to close my eyes and think about other things to stop.

But it was good. I at least learned a little and can (and have!) practice at home and be more prepared.

But the best part of the class.... MASSAGE TECHNIQUES!! 

Clint had to give me a massage! It was AMAZEBALLS!! 

First they gave everyone a tube sock with two tennis balls in it. This thing was amazing. All he's gotta do is rub it around my back. Felt. Great. Then they passed around little paint rollers, but that didn't really do it for me. They taught him a criss-crossy back massage. Don't know how to explain it, but that was nice. They taught a little hand massage and a hip massage that helps to open the pelvis. It was all just very nice and relaxing, and he did great!!

Oh and they also talked about the benefits of an exercise ball. Which I'll have to google again. I remember the movements they did on it, but don't remember why. lol I know "they" say to sit on an exercise ball if you work in an office as its better for your back than an office chair. Anyway I do plan to google that some this weekend. 

So after the class Clint suggested going to Wal Mart to get tennis balls and an exercise ball. And so we did. 

When I sit on the exercise ball, I definitely feel less pressure on my lower back, but there's no back support so its just not comfy for me! But again, I'm gonna google exercises and see what I come up with. I've seen people use those balls at the gym so even if I don't use it while pregnant, maybe I'll learn how to use it at home after Zane come.

Suuuuure... 

Somewhere during the class, we told them that we lived in Bagdad. So at the end of the class, one of the instructors told us that she's from Bagdad! We compared people we know in common and such and then she talked to us about the possibility of induction. Which is something I've really been wondering about. I know that a lot of people from Bagdad get  induced because of the distance, but I wasn't sure what determines that. I mean I know it depends on the doctor mostly. Anyway she said that its likely, and she said that if I test positive for Group B Strep they'll most likely want to induce because I'll need an antibiotic within a specific time frame and they want to be sure I get that in time. Also she said that if I have an appt at 36-37 weeks and I'm dilated to a 4 or so, they'll likely schedule an induction for sometime in the next few days.

It was just really good info to get.. all things I've been wondering about. Its too early to say for sure whether or not I'll be induced of course, but good to know some of the things that will have to be considered. So we really appreciated that she hung out and talked to us after the class!!

Oh what did we do before the class? We did a little grocery and baby shopping at Wal Mart. I got a lot of the little things we still needed. Extra crib sheets, mattress protector, infant medicines (since we can't just run to the store if he gets sick at 2AM), etc. 

Then we went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner. Super yum!

Then we (I) went to Hobby Lobby. I needed some albums (one for me, one for Zane!) and they were 50% off, so woot woot! Got a few other scrappy things and found a couple things for Zane's room!

Speaking of Zane's room... I am really disappointed with customer service at Graco (LaJobi). I would definitely recommend calling on a business day rather than emailing. It takes 3 business days between emails and the woman that I've been corresponding with just lacks customer service skills. The first thing she said to me should have been "I'm so sorry for the inconvenience." But not once have I heard anything close to an apology, or any sense of urgency. Hello?!We're having a baby! This is kinda time sensitive!! Anyway, I emailed them 2 Saturdays ago. Heard from her the following Wednesday and she needed more info and that it would come FedEx so she needed a physical address. I emailed her back the info she needed. She emailed me back last Monday and all it said was "Hi Janessa. Your order will be processed." Ummm... Can I get a time frame on that??! That is so freaking vague. Pissed me off. So I emailed her back (not sure why) asking for more detailed info, as in how long that takes and I didn't hear back from her so on the third business day (yesterday) I called the customer service number and asked for an update. Spoke to someone else and they said that my order was being processed. Facepalm. But since I had her on the phone I was able to ask what that meant. That means 7-10 business days. They don't offer a tracking number once its shipped but I can call next week for one. And if I haven't received the hardware by Thursday, I will be calling for a status update. It's just ridiculous. Its a damn good thing I didn't wait till the last second to get the furniture because we'd be screwed. This is their fault and I just feel like they should be more apologetic/sympathetic and act like the care about getting our hardware out to us!

Rant over. 

I just can't wait to get that crib put together so I can get his room finished. Its really holding things up.

So this week since I couldn't focus on his room like I wanted to, I focused on my house! I realized that I spent all last week doing stuff for Zane that my house kinda fell apart. LOL Well not really but I just reeaaally needed to vacuum and our bedroom was a mess. So I took care of some basic housework and that was good!

Clint even went through some totes full of old clothes that I've been wanting him to go through for years!! I now have 3 bags to take to Good Will. 

Yeah.. Three trash bags!!

What else?

The day after our class, Wednesday, I woke up, got dressed and when I looked down at my belly, it looked lower. So I asked Clint if my belly looked different and he said it looks rounder and lower. 

Zane had been really squirmy the days before, maybe he's no longer breech? Kinda hoping! 

Its funny because now at the top of my tummy where it used to be hard, its kinda squishy! Just strange how quickly it can change!

Anyway I took the new belly picture that day, so what do you think? Lower?

And that's it from this girl!

My First Mother's Day

Well don't I feel a little spoiled!

And a little silly... because I was kinda worried he would forget to get me something. 

I knew he knew it was Mother's Day and that I expected something. But I figured he'd pick up some flowers either on his way home from work this morning or on his way to work tonight, and I thought he might space it I guess. So when he got home empty handed this morning I was a little bummed, I can't lie. But I figured he'll do it tonight. 

So I was sitting on the couch straightening my hair, and he came out of the kitchen with a little silver box from Zales! Very surprised!! (I should say that I knew he had spent money on the credit card, but figured that was for my birthday.) I opened it to find these beautiful diamond earrings!

For one, they're very much my style lately! I used to wear long dangly earrings, but lately I've liked them smaller, more simple.. like these! Of course I never buy myself diamond earrings. My earrings generally come from Wal Mart for about $5. In fact, I believe these are my first ever diamond earrings!

Now.. this is also kind of a big deal to me because he did it all on his own. He's bought me jewelry two other times. The first was my engagement ring. I didn't pick it out, but I was definitely expecting a proposal so therefore expecting a diamond. The second time was Valentine's Day 2008. I found a necklace on the Zales website that I wanted and told him to order it. Not very romantic and he surely didn't have to put any thought into it. But this?! I was NOT expecting jewelry for Mother's Day. Next year, maybe. Not this year. Flowers. Not diamonds. So I obviously never hinted that I might want something, never pointed out these earrings or anything like them. I mean I don't think I ever mentioned wanting jewelry.. if I did I wasn't serious. He did this all on his own, which is what makes it so special. 

Best. Husband. Ever!!

Love him. 

Bunches. 

Anyway. Today is my first Mother's Day as a Mom. He may still be in the womb but it totally counts. 

I've been waiting for this day for years. That may sound silly. But if you're reading this you probably know that pregnancy didn't come easily to us. We've been trying off and on since we got married in June 2009. Every Mother's Day since then has hurt a little. The first wasn't bad. And I'll never forget that my MIL send me a card that year. She knew we were trying and wanted me to know she was happy I'd be the mother of some of her grandchildren. Each year it got harder though and I got more bitter. Recently I read an old blog post and I'm glad I did. It reminded me where I was, how I felt. It also reminded me to be sensitive today. I feel a little guilty for posting my earrings to Facebook. But I should still be able to enjoy things without feeling guilty. I think that my struggling-for-a-baby friends know that that kind of thing is not meant to hurt them. I acknowledged "past, present, future and fur" moms in my "Happy Mother's Day" post on FB. Then I realized that "past" sounds awful. Even if you've lost a child, you're still a Mom. I hope no one catches that or gets offended by it. I hope people know me well enough to know that I wouldn't mean to say anything hurtful. 

I feel like so far I haven't been too in-your-face with my pregnancy. I don't have a weekly update auto-posted from whatever website to my FB. Those things used to drive me crazy. Like we really don't need to know every week what fruit or vegetable your baby can be compared to. (Either people don't do that anymore, or I blocked that app, because I haven't seen it in a while!) I don't complain about any of the discomforts of pregnancy. I don't post every pregnancy-related thought that pops into my head. I post positive things, and ultrasound pictures and stuff, but I really do make an effort to not over-do it, and I hope my TTC girls don't get hurt or saddened by anything I post. Because I've been there. And I haven't forgotten how hard it was for me to see some of the things that my pregnant friends, and my mommy friends, would post. 

Anyway I forgot where I was going with this. I do wish every Mom out there a Happy Mother's Day. I wish for my friends who are TTC to find peace in the day and keep believing that you'll be called "Mommy" someday soon, no matter what path you have to take to get there. 

<3 p="">

May 10, 2013

Soo I've decided that when I don't have a super eventful week, there's no need to give you a day-by-day play-by-play. 

Tuesday was the only notable day, really. We had to leave around 8:30 for an ultrasound at 10:30. We got to see our little Zane again (and I haven't scanned the new pix yet, so you don't get to see him this time! :p )! At my last appointment, I was measuring 4 weeks ahead so they wanted to do a growth scan this time. According to the ultrasound, he's only a week ahead, which is fine and normal. My fluid levels are good and he weighs about 4lbs 11oz which sounds so big to me! But the ultrasound tech said that's average for an 8lb baby, and the doctor said that's in the 59th percentile, so that's not bad. She measured his head and his belly but they didn't tell me those measurements. But they both looked huge to me! LOL. He was moving around like always and  she did switch over to 3d a few times for us. I felt like the quality was better than what we saw in Phoenix. We could see his little face so much better. Still got those chubby little cheeks! He's still breech but I guess that's not a concern at this point. I feel like he's taking up a lot of room in there because I have to pee a lot and have shortness of breath a lot! So we had the u/s in Prescott and after that we had to go to Prescott Valley for the Drs appt (they have two offices, and that's where my Dr was that day). All went well there. I asked him if I'll get back on Metformin after baby and he said yes (what I wanted to hear! It helps with the weight loss), and I asked if I had to wait the 6 weeks before getting back to the gym and he said  yes (booo!). Not that I'll probably feel like exercising right away anyway. So my early weight loss plans are to try to eat better, lots of walks, and of course breast feeding! Dr. O says it'll be the easiest weight I'll ever lose, but I have my doubts. I've already gained, I think, 42 lbs. Eeeek!! 

After the appointments we went to lunch at Red Robin. We always get a waiter when we sit in the bar section. Like they try to be funny but they're just not. He was nice enough, just so odd. No more sitting in the bar section for us! LOL Then we went to Wal Mart and did some grocery shopping. I decided I'm not gonna be getting cold stuff in town for a while since I'll only be going to town on days when we have birthing classes (which start at 7pm), so it was an odd trip! lol.... Then we had time to kill! So Clint wanted to go to a few sporting goods stores and the other Wal Mart (to look at fishing stuff) and I just had to get some Baskin Robbins. Mmmm. We ended our time killing with K Mart. Can't tell you the last time I'd been in a K Mart. It was like exploring a new, foreign land. We didn't buy anything, but there was a Little Caesar's in there, so we did dinner there. It was ridiculously cheap and not too bad. A little undercooked and too much cheese, but pretty good tasting. I hadn't had LC in forever either! 

From there we went to the hospital for the class. Of course we were way early and the first ones there. Now I wasn't sure what to expect out of this class. I was kinda looking forward to it, knowing I'd get some good info out of it. But also kinda dreading it. And I did not think Clint would be thrilled to be there, figured he'd be moody and stuff, but it was actually kinda fun! And he was in a good mood about it, and even had to participate! haha!! They did this ridiculous exercise comparing holding ice in my hand to contractions. Okay that ice hurt!!! That just made me think I'll never make it through labor if I can barely handle the ice. Ouch!! But I know its different. I know that when I have to, I handle pain better than expected. They taught us some exercises to ease back pain, and a lesson on kegels. I guess I should be doing them, but I don't like to! lol that's silly. So now Clint asked me yesterday if I'd been doing them. I guess I should be if it'll make labor easier! Anyway it was kinda fun. Next week we're supposed to bring a pillow and not wear a dress... bet that will be even MORE fun! LOL I'm glad Clint gets to go with me to that one!

I'm hoping at some point during the classes they'll tell us what we need to bring to the hospital and what they provide. My hospital bag list is way too long already!

Anyway the class was over at 9 and of course we headed home. It was a long day (about 14 hours!) and we were tired and Zoey was sooo happy to see us, as you can imagine! 

The rest of the week seemed to be filled with laundry! Well first I had a bunch of garbage to get rid of. Well recycling. We had boxes from some of the big stuff, and the dresser and all the packaging materials. I'm sure our recycle pick-up guy loved us this week. We did get the dresser finished on Monday (yay!) and its nice to have something together in there. I put some of the decor on top of it just to kinda set the tone I guess. Then yeah laundry laundry laundry. I actually got all OUR stuff done and put away by Wednesday afternoon (so rare) because I wanted to do all Zane's. I washed allllll his clothes. Even the hand-me-downs from Robin, which I know were clean, but I don't know how long they've been stored and they could have a weird smell or something. IDK, they didn't have a weird smell, but I washed them anyway. LOL. And all his new clothes, and I started on the blankets. Whew! So I got that all folded. Keep in mind the hand-me-downs go up to 6 months, so it was a lot! That's basically all I did yesterday. I put the 3-6 month stuff away, in the bottom drawers, and threw his socks in the top drawer. I want to go through the rest of the stuff a little more and put favorites toward the top of the pile. All his hanging stuff is up. I just hung the cuter stuff. The NB stuff is kinda in order. The first 5 or 6 things are what I want to make sure he gets to wear while he still fits in NB sizes (because I feel like he won't be in them long!). Then the 0-3 month stuff I have kiiinda in order. Like the first half are favorites. I have a LOT of favorites. Oh and I got 2 potential going home outfits in the diaper bag. One for NB one 0-3, just in case. They're just simple outfits, but I think they're cute. :) 

I think I mentioned last weekend that our crib/changer came without the hardware. I emailed them last Saturday (tried to call but it was a weekend) and they emailed me back Wednesday asking for a little more info from the box. So I gave it to them. Now I'm wondering if they'll tell me when its shipped? Surely they've gotten the info now and it should be on its way soon. They did say it comes via FedEx, so shipping shouldn't take long, right? I'm really hoping it'll be here Monday or Tuesday so we can get started on his next days off. 

I was kind of disappointed with the response I got from them. They didn't apologize for the inconvenience. They thanked me for contacting them and let me know what info was needed and that was it. I can't believe they didn't start it with "I'm so sorry for the inconvenience and we'd like to get this resolved ASAP" or something along those lines. Oh well. As long as I get the hardware I'm happy!

And that's it! Today I'm back at work. I updated my scrappy blog with my most recent pages, so you should totes check that out. I'm really gonna try to update it more often! 

Really!

Hey I've been good about updating this one, I can do that one too!

Oh.. random. Just got the new Lady Antebellum album.. Love! Download "All For Love!" :)