Guilt

Ugh. I had my first food guilt yesterday. Every other time I've cheated the diet or just had a bad diet day, I haven't felt about it. Either it was a special occasion or I just felt like I deserved it. But yesterday was just uncalled for. I had a scrambled egg and toast for breakfast. That's fine. But then Robin & I went into town for grocery shopping day and since she didn't have the kids, we went to Olive Garden. Between us we had three salads. I had 2 breadsticks and a bowl of the chicken gnocchi soup. It was all delicious. My lunch calorie total was 750 calories. I knew that was a lot more than normal for lunch, but still not too big a deal. I got through the day with cravings everyday I passed cookies or candy (Aunt Flow is here so the cravings are bad). I wanted a cookie so bad. But I did good all day. Then on the way out we were hungry, so we stopped at Sonic for a snack. Sonic doesn't have shit for dietters anymore. I tried to order a small popcorn chicken but apparently they only have one size of that now (althought I'm thinking if I had said "kids size" it may have been a different story). So I got the regular size. I was able to resist getting a chocolate malt... only because I looked up how many calories are in there.. over 500! But the popcorn chicken. I didn't have to eat the whole thing. But it was so good, and so I did. I'm so mad at myself for that! And then I got home and decided to just do leftovers since there was plenty of chili left and I didn't want it to get wasted, and I was tired from the day of shopping. So I did also have a small bowl of chili and cornbread. Such a bad diet day. I went over my calorie goal of 1720 by 279. :( I know that's not terrible, I know it could be worse, and I know that it's only one day. But I was so mad at myself for it last night. Most days I have at least that many calories to spare. I don't know if I've mentioned that I use the app MyFitnessPal to count my calories. Well at the end of everyday it tells you "If every day were like today, you'd weigh xxx in five weeks. It's been saying in the low 240s... 242, 241, obv it varies day to day. Yesterday it said 248. Maybe it's good for me to see what a difference it makes, though. Maybe it'll keep me from having bad days more often. And I guess I should be happy that I could eat like I did yesterday and still lose 5 lbs. Really, that doesn't make sense... Oh well.

So today, I put a little extra time and effort in at the gym, and it felt good!

I guess I should mention that MyFitnessPal counts net calories. So food calories minus gym time = my net calories. Normally I burn at least 200 calories at the gym. Today it was 400something. So, had I gone to the gym yesterday, or could log the exercise I got walking around the stores, my net calories wouldn't be so bad.

See, it was good for me to type this out, I feel a little better now. :)

Alright, that's all.