Well it's been almost a month so I guess it's time for some kind of update from me!

As of this morning I am 53 lbs down. That's good, but last week I was 55 lbs down! I had a bad food/exercise weekend! I don't beat myself up about it too much because I'm learning. I'm learning how important exercise is. I ate badly too but I feel like it's the lack of exercise that makes me gain. I didn't go Friday because I never go on payday (its a busy day) and I didn't go Sunday because they're closed. I could have gone for a walk Sunday night though! But Sunday night we were at my sister in laws house till after dark and I didn't even think about it anyway. I know that I'll be back on track this week at lose at least those 2 lbs back.

As far as my exercise routine goes, I'm getting lazier. I haven't done the treadmill or gone for a walk in a while. And I don't always do all the weights. I always do some, and usually do most, but I skip around more. On a positive note, I have upped the weight on some of the machines by 5 lbs! So that shows progress.

As for food.... eh. I'm not eating nearly enough fruits and veggies anymore. But I'm still not eating terribly. Still no mac and cheese and very little potato. I guess where I used to do fruits and veggies I do 100 calorie packs. I still have veggies as a side as much as I did (which really isn't enough). And for breakfast instead of fruit I'm having oatmeal (low sugar maple & brown sugar) or cereal (whole grain cheerios, stawberry yogurt burst). But a girl can only eat so many apples! But I have cut out soda again!

And clothes! Well I am fitting into all my smallest stuff. Well I haven't gone through winter clothes yet, but they should be the same size as everything I'm wearing. I have a coulpe pairs of jeans that fit and a handful of shirts, but all the shirts are summery. So as fall is approaching (I'm in AZ, it's not here yet!), I'm really gonna need to buy a few "in between" size shirts that are more seasonally appropriate. I actually have bought a couple that are a size too small. That way I have something to shrink into. I think I'll do that little by little so that I'm more prepared. I'm not looking forward to buying "in between" jeans because I have a hard time finding jeans that are long enough, and usually get them at Lane Bryant, which isn't cheap and I hate to spend $40 on jeans that will only last a few months. And yes, the next size down is still shoppable at Lane Bryant, but after that I have to find a new store. I just realized that. Weird. Kinda exciting to think about too!
Is it weird that I plan to hang most of my "fat" clothes for a while. It's not that I plan to have to wear them again, but some of them could potentially be maternity clothes, or after baby comes clothes. I guess I'm nervous about it. I'm confident that I'll be able to keep the weight off, but I just feel like I need to hang onto them for a while.

Speaking of having a baby, I'm pretty sure I've decided that 200 lbs isn't small enough for me... I want to get to 175 now before getting pregnant. I know I know.. I just keep putting it off. But I have "thin" within my reach, and I feel like I need to go for it. I've never been thin. And I'm sure I've said it before, but the healthier I am, the easier it'll be to get pregnant, and it'll be a healthier pregnancy. And I'll have a cute baby bump instead of a "is she pregnant or fat?" bump. LOL. And I'll feel really good about myself, and be able to do things I haven't been able to do. Like get hit on but something other then old men! LOL JK JK I really meant like doing something athletic! Not sure what but I want to try something athletic once I get below 200. Or hiking. Something.

I really should just call this a weight loss blog.

But onto the non-weight loss stuff....

My phone died 2 Saturdays ago and it was devastating!! LOL Seriously! Clint was on nights and I was all alone and had no connection to the world. That totally weirds me out! Thankfully, my awesome hubby let me borrow his until my replacement came. It was a pain in the butt getting it back to how my old one was, but it's good now! :)

Well I think that's it! I'm gonna leave you with a link to a video that you've got to watch! My my awesome talented brother! :)

Click Here!!

Amping It Up!

Lately I've been amping up my workout routine! I don't want to plateau and I don't want to be flabby! For starters, IO'm doing a higher level and faster speed on the elliptical. And I've started doing the dreaded weigtht training. For the first week or so I was doing it kinda half assed... not pushing myself, and not really keeping track of how much I was doing in terms of weight or reps. But I did a little reading online and talked to a friend who knows what she's doing better then I do. And now I've been pushing myself. Here's what I've started doing (so far only done it twice.. I'm gonna do every other day because I get so sore!):

Machine..............................................lbs
Arm Curl.............................................30
Tricep Extension..............................40
Shoulder Press................................20
Back Extension................................85
Rotary Torso, 40*, both ways....50
Hip Abduction.................................55
Hip Abduction2..............................55
Leg Press..........................................85
Leg Extension.................................55
Seated Leg Curl..............................55
Seated Row.....................................55
Chest Press.....................................25
Lateral Pull......................................55
Rear Delt/Fly..................................55

I do three reps of 10 on each one. There are some that I could do a little heavier, like the leg extension. There are a few that I'm totally embarrassed at how little I can handle. Like the chest press is SO hard for me! But I know that I'll see improvement before too long. I already feel like I'm getting stronger, but it might just be that I'm lighter. Like (and I'm about to make myself sound like a lard ass) it's easier to get up off the couch. LOL. But seriously. If you've ever been overweight, you will understand. And if you haven't... well you're lucky! But anyway, I look forward to getting strong! I've never been strong and it will be nice to feel like I could kick some butt if I needed to. I wish Bagdad had classes to offer... there's someone that does Zumba but it's just the videos which I could do at home. I would love an aerobics class or eventually a kickboxing class or something.

Oh, also as part of my amped up workout routine, I've been trying to go for walks at least a few times a week. It's hard to do when Clint is on days because it's still too hot before he gets home, and after dinner it's dark. I can go in the dark I just prefer not to. I'd like to start doing a 2 mile walk most evenings but it hasn't happened yet. I know the route I want to take I just haven't done it yet. I will when Clint goes back to nights next week though!

I am about 5 lbs away from the 50 pound mark. HOLY COW!! I'm hoping to get there in two weeks (fingers crossed!) because I'm spending a night in Prescott with my friends and we're going out to dinner to celebrate Melissa's upcoming wedding and I'd like to be 5 lbs lighter. Not that it's gonna make much difference in how I look.. maybe just so I can tell them I've lost 50 lbs. I saw Jessica yesterday but I haven't seen the others in about 30 lbs so I'm excited! :D

I don't think I've blogged about my missing iPod yet... so sad!! It's been about a month. I think someone must have stolen it out of my truck, in my driveway. I always leave it in the truck and when I take it out it's at the gym where it stays on my body the whole time. Makes no sense! I have been missing my iTunes purchases so whenever I'm in the office/craft room (like now), I listen to my iTunes. But I think I'm gonna get a cheapy 2gb iPod soon. It's a pain in the butt listening to music on my phone at the gym because the headphone thing is kinda messed up and if you bump it it disconnects. So annoying. But I guess I am just glad I can listen to music on my phone! It would suck to not have music!

I recently discovered the Notepad app, which is how I'm typing this. I'm able to type on my desktop, put it on my phone, and copy and paste to my blog. It's nice to not have to type all this on my phone! There really is an app for everything! There's nothing I can't do from my phone. At least not that I've found yet!

Well I guess I have babbled enough for one post. Till next time...

Appointment Update

I had my appointment on Tuesday but there's really not much to say. Dr. O didn't give me the baby making goo ahead. He, too, wants me to get to 200 lbs. I can't help but think he is just pushing me because I am doing so well and he doesn't want to see me stop yet. Which isn't totally fair but since I wanted to wait till 200 anyway, I'll go along with it. However, once I get there, we will be TTC! By then my A1c should be in the normal range too. My insulin already is! :) he was very impressed and proud of me though! And since my insulin was good, he didn't have to raise the dosage of metformin which is nice! I don't feel side effects from it, but I thought I might if I was taking twice as much. I did ask if I will have to be taking the met forever and it depends. Once I get to a healthy weight (he says 160, I'm saying 175... 160 seems way too little for me), I will stop taking it for a while and do some tests and see how I do. If my insulin and weight stay good, then I can stay off. But if not, it will probably be a lifelong thing. Which I'm totally okay with if it keeps me from getting fat again!

All this time I've been losing weight, I've been thinking about just getting to 200, so still being heavy. But the closer I get the more I realize, I really would like to be thin. Not skinny, not honey, but skin. Flat stomach, maybe. But I have never been thin so it seems so weird to even think about! LOL. I asked Clint how he would feel about it, and he says he is happy if I'm happy. I sas afraid maybe he liked heavy girls! LOL. And I wonder if he will be less okay with me having a girls night out if I get "hot!" LOL. He says he wont get insecure. But we will just have to wait and see!

Okay well my melatonin is kicking in and its good old grocery shopping day tomorrow. Clint (and likely Zoey) are going too, so it should be interesting. Long day ahead! Good night Blogosphere!

PS- Either someone is crying/wailing next door or there's a cat dying out there or something. Wtf?

Doing Good!

I have been saying that I'm gonna update but it just hasn't happened till now. I should probably wait till after Tuesday's appointment, but, eh, I better do it while I'm in the mood!

We cancelled our internet a few weeks ago, so its a PITA to blog from my phone. So bear with me!

So I am a whopping 41 lbs down! That deserves a happy dance! Its hard to believe I'm 34 lbs from 200! That's nothing! I mean its a lot, but its so close! Of course the closer I get, the more I think I'm gonna want to get to 175, but we'll burn that bridge when we get there!

I feel great! It seems like just about every day I notice some new place that its noticeable. Obviously my waist line. Shorts that I couldn't button in April fit perfect, if not loosely. There's extra room in my bras (which I'm not thrilled about, but it happens). Those are the obvious places. I've realized that its noticeable in my thighs and even my calves (which Clint pointed out) and my face! Clint pulled up a pic on his phone from April and pointed out the difference. I LOVE when he points things out to me. I have mostly been wearing the same shirts this whole time, and I'm realizing that they're looser. It all just feels great!

The other day I went through allllllllll my clothes. There were a few things that I was hoping I hadn't gotten rid of, but found that I have, which is a bummer. But I still have a bunch of old shirts that either fit well again now, or will soon! It was a lot of fun trying everything on. I didn't mess with winter clothes because they don't matter yet anyway. And it gives me something to look forward to! ;)

So I got my blood drawn last payday and the nurse called a few days later with results. Good news!! My A1c, which is my long term blood sugar, went from 6.3 to 5.9, which I think is really good! Pre diabetic range starts at 5.7, so I'm almost there! My insulin went from 17 to 8 too which is good! I will know more about what the numbers mean at Tuesdays appointment, but I was happy to know they went down! Yahoo! I may be mistaken, but I believe they just like the A1c to be below 6 before getting pregnant, so I think maybe we will get the go ahead at this appt. However, I still plan to wait till I reach 200 lbs. Which will be hard to do once we get drs approval, but I still feel like its the right thing. Then I'll get off the pill and continue to lose weight while we TTC.

So that's that!

I haven't scrapbooked in probably a month. I just got burn out... I hope to get back into it soon though! Not scrapping has made my days much more boring.

I think that's all there is to talk about.....

I'll try to update after Tuesday if I learn anything interesting at my appt!

Random Babbling

So I guess it's about time for a real update. But there's not much to say! I am currently 28.5 lbs down. Looking forward to that 30 lb mark! One of my best friends is getting married at the end of September (sorry if I've mentioned this already) and I want to lose another 30 by then! I have a dress that I've only worn once and only Clint has seen me in. It's nothing fancy or special. Just something that's practically new! But I believe I was about 220 when I wore it. So it's really just over 25 that I need to lose by then. Assuming I lose weight in the same places that I gained it. LOL. I think it's an achievable goal. But I won't be too disappointed if I don't reach it. I know that the second 30 lbs will be harder to lose than the first 30. And I'm sure I will have something else that I'll be able to wear if I have to. I hope that I don't have to buy anything new because I just don't want to shop until I get very close to by goal weight!

I scheduled a drs appointment for August 2 (Robin has one that day too, yay for going together!) and I'll get blood work right before that so I am excited to see how much my A1c drops! I'm also excited to see how proud my doctor will be of my weight loss! Even if I don't lose any more weight by then, he'll be proud (I've doubled since my last appt). But I hope to lose another 10 lbs by then. Fingers crossed!

I have been acting up a little though. I may have already blogged about this, heck, I can't remember! Oh I know I blogged about adding in small amounts of soda. I've also started sweetening my tea again (half a packet of sweet & low). Also one my lower calorie days, I often "reward" myself with a handful of chocolate chips. That's bad, right? It's still not coming close to putting me over my calorie goal for the day, but it doesn't make it good! Also I'm having more bread. I get so tired of just ham steak & an egg for breakfast, putting it on toast makes it so much more enjoyable. I know an 80 calorie slice of bread isn't gonna kill me, but I just hate that I'm starting to add things back in. I almost bought juice too! But I was able to resist that. I always want to buy candy bars when I'm at a checkout, but all I have to do is look at the 300+ calories and I don't do it. HOWEVER, Skinny Cow now makes candy bars, and they are sooooo good! I haven't seen them at checkouts yet, but I did buy a box. I don't eat a whole package at a time (the one I got is little clusters, 5 in a package). But that's not what I need to be snacking on, I need to go back to snacking on fruits and veggies and hard boiled eggs. I hope I can get back on track. Again, I know that even with all that, I'm still doing good. Still losing weight, and still staying under my calorie goal every day. But still. It's not the right thing for me to be doing.

HA! And I said that I didn't have much to say!

The last few weeks I've been Netflixing the series Life Unexpected. It only lasted 2 seasons, and only 26 episodes. I watched the last disc yesterday. It was such a good show, I can't believe it didn't last! In case you don't know, it's about a girl who was put up for adoption as a baby, spent her life in foster care, and found her birth parents when she was 16 and the judge put her in their care. Her parents had her at 16, so of course they weren't together, which led to some awesome, dramatic complications. But also a lot of wonderful emotional moments. So I was really disappointed that it didn't last. But I was so happy with the way they ended it. I was afraid it was gonna be a giant cliffhanger like so many shows that get cancelled too early, but it ended with closure for the viewers.

Okay, I'm done. But I want to share some of my favorite pictures that Jenn at Jennifer Rice Photography took of me the weekend of my birthday. I don't think I've ever felt like I look so pretty, except maybe at my wedding. She did a great job! (I may not have resized them perfectly. I forgot to do it in Photbucket, so I freehanded it.)

Envy & Appreciation

Most of the time we think about what we don't have. We don't have enough money. We don't have enough friends. We don't have enough nice things. We don't have a family. We don't have pets. We don't have a sports car. But most people rarely take the opportunity to think about what they do have. We have a roof over our head. We have vehicles to get us from A to B. We have people that love us. We have a job. We have fresh air to breathe. We have food on our table. We have things to occupy our time. We have life.

I've been thinking lately. Everyone has something that someone else wishes they had. And everybody wishes they had something that someone else has. So I think about the things about my life that others might envy. I have a husband who loves me and takes care of me and provides for me. I have the most amazing dog. I have the best family-in-law a girl could ask for. I don't have to work. I have fantastic friends that have been and will continue to be there for me through anything and everything. I have time on my hands to do the things that I want to do. I have an amazing Mom who has seen me through everything, and a brother who has always been my protector.

I also think about the things that others have that I want. I want to not live paycheck to paycheck. I want a husband who is a little more sensitive and thoughtful. I want children to occupy my time. I want to decorate my house. I want to travel. I want ambition to follow something that I'm passionate about. I want to be out of debt. I want more of a social life. I want to own a place that we can call home forever.

There are people in my life who have a lot of the things I wish I had. Anyone reading this.. if you're a parent, I envy you. If you see all your friends on a monthly basis, I envy you. If you have the means to travel and buy all the things you want and need, I envy you.

I have some friends with jobs, college and children, or at least 2 of the three. They don't have a lot of free time and I often get the feeling that they envy all the free time that I have. I have time to scrapbook and go to the gym and spend with my husband or friends or family. They don't have as much of that time, so they have to be more choosey about how they spend their free time. What they don't realize is that I'm jealous of them. Okay, I don't really want to go to school and would only want a job if it was something I enjoyed... but children. I would love to have children getting in the way of my scrapbooking and using up all my money and making it hard for me to do anything social.

One of my best friends is starting a photography business and doing wonderfully with it. I wish that I had something that I was passionate about, as she is about photography. Something that I cared enough about to want to learn more, and want to pursue it as a career. I envy the passion that she has.

So what I'm trying to say is appreciate what you have, because you never know who is out there wishing they were in your shoes. Love your spouse, love your children, love your pets, love your house and your possesions and your job. Don't take it for granted as so many (myself included) do. Appreciate what you have and don't dwell on what is lacking in your life.

Things I Learned From The Voice

No no... not my inner voice or the voice of God or the voices in my head (although i do learn a lot from them)! I'm talking about season one of NBC's The Voice! So here is what it taught me:

1. Cee Lo Green is always either underdressed or severely overdressed... there is no happy medium with him. Also, he must have a deal with Adidas. If he doesn't, he will soon.

2. Carson Daly is still relevant, thought not quite as awesome as he was in his TRL days. But I'm happy to be seeing him again.

3. Blake Shelton is hot, and sweet and just plain awesomesauce!

4. American Idol has nothing to worry about.

5. Christina Aguilera is so annoying. I hate to admit this because I have always been a fan. But if she wasn't worried about her image before, she should be now.

And who says TV isn't educational?

PS- I will be watching Season 2 even though Season 1 didn't completely rock my socks.